New Beginnings

A Walk To Remember

Garrus looked worried when he got back home- he was twitchy, making himself busy when all I wanted was for him to put his ass back on the couch and rest for a minute: he was driving me insane.

"Garrus, come on- tell me already" I took the glass he'd cleaned twice from his hands. 

"How did you?..." he chuckled, then put the sponge down "You know me too well, Shepard- even after losing a big chunk of your memory"

"What can I say: I'm Commander Shepard. I'm amazing that way" I joked. He guided me to the couch

"They told me to wait until tomorrow- but... if they ask, you coerced me into telling you- with force, and I had no choice" he teased

"I don't mind tying you up and shaking you a little, if that'll make it more believable" I laughed- had we ever done that? was it too much? Garrus shifted uncomfortably, he looked a little embarrassed.

"Maybe some other time, Shep" he cleared his throat, visibly nervous- and not from the news he was holding from me. I smirked.  "The primarch was there with the council- they... uhm, they want you to go public in a couple of days. They're afraid you're not the same anymore, you know, with the amnesia and all that" he sighed "They asked me to tell them what I thought- I told them you're the same Shepard who kicked Saren's ass, made peace with the geth, found the Leviathan and turned the Reapers into little bits of space garbage" he chuckled

"And why did they need you to keep it a secret?" I didn't see the harm in telling me about it, if anything it would help everyone if I knew, right?

"They're sending someone to examine you- you're not supposed to know, something about tainting the results, and... I honestly stopped listening when they- ugh"

"When they what?" Garrus looked angry now, his mandible twitched.

"They suggested someone in the team, our team, Shepard" he took my hands "Filed a report saying you're not fit for duty anymore- they called all of us, separately. Liara, Tali, the doc, Joker... all of us; spirits, I wouldn't be surprised if they'd called your hamster in too. I've been racking my brains trying to figure out who did it" he sighed, then whispered "And why would they do something like that- that's low, it's... disgusting"

"Unfit for duty? It's not like I expected to be back in the field so soon anyways- I mean, I miss a good fight, but... peace sounds really good right now- maybe after I'm all good we can retire to Tahiti, or somewhere in the Caribbean" Garrus laughed softly, stroking my cheek with his talons

"They want you to take over, Shep" I almost fell of the couch

"Take over what? the N7 program?" Garrus looked at me, amused

"The council- with Udina and Anderson dead, you're the only logical choice. They hinted you'd not only be the human Councillor" he grabbed my chin, softly "You'd be the head of the council- since we're stranded on earth, they figured it's only fair"

"Hell, that's sure a lot to take in" I whistled, I don't know why. "I need a drink- or five"

"I can take care of that" he got up to the kitchen aisle, then poured me a neat scotch. Just what I needed- I wondered if he'd done that for me more than one time before. I figured it was more than likely. 

"I guess now I have a choice- I could pretend to be unfit for duty, in theory, and ditch them all to retire- with you- to a tropical place near the ocean" I downed the whole thing in a gulp. Garrus poured me another- and then some for himself. The bottle was familiar- turian brandy, the blue kind; a memory came to me, from one night on the citadel in an apartment much like the one I was in at the moment. A sense of happiness filled me all over, a warmth not unlike the one I felt in my throat as the scotch made its way to my stomach (and my brain); there was a party, music, the whole crew gathered together, having fun, laughing. Which one of them could've betrayed me? I felt loved, happy, secure- they were my family.  I downed the second.

"You spaced out for a second there" Garrus combed my hair with his talons "New memory?"

"Yeah" I sighed, I could feel the scotch blurring the memory away- but the feeling stuck "I need to get some air, let's get out of here" I put on a hoodie, took both bottles and ushered Garrus outside of the apartment

"I'm not entirely sure if this is a good idea" he said, but he was just as giddy as I was "But- I know exactly where to go- come on" he took his brandy, and with his free hand he took mine. 

We wound up by a river bank- the place had seen better days; the pier had clearly been struck by a reaper beam and none had bothered to fix it yet. Reconstruction priorities didn't contemplate recreational spaces, it seemed. There were booths with charred signs depicting dancing hotdogs and smiling ice cream cones, eery abandoned gift shops with dusty souvenirs on their shelves. Garrus broke into one of those stores using his omnitool, then instructed me to close my eyes for a second- he came out wearing a silly straw hat, a ridiculous flowery shirt and a flower necklace ... he had a matching set for me. I was buzzed enough to wear them without much hesitation. We looked deliciously absurd- and I loved it. For the rest of the night we were two silly tourists sipping pretend elaborate drinks in huge flamingo mugs- also a find from the gift shop, people have questionable taste- and dancing under the moonlight.  It was perfect- we were perfect.

"We don't need to be somewhere tropical- as long as we're together... Shepard- as long as I have you, as long as you know I'm all yours" he held me high in his arms "Anywhere is perfect"

"I know" I said, then kissed him "I'm still not sure if I should take over the council- if they decide I'm fit- I feel like my time is over, I don't see how I can be of much help ... but I refuse, If I pretend to be unfit and run away" I sighed "I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life- I know enough about myself to be sure of it: that's not who I am."

"I know" he whispered in my ear "And I love you just the way you are- you'll make an excellent councilor, Shep"

"IF they decide I'm fit" I teased

"They'd be fools not to realize how amazing you are, even after all you've been through: you're still the badass, sexy and smart Commander Shepard, you'll always be- and you" he put me down "Will make them remember that"

"I think I needed to remember that too" I smirked at him. We threw the remainder of our bottles into the river, then made our way back home. 

"And whoever filed that report will have to answer to Archangel" he joked, making a superhero pose "None slanders my girl and walks out with both legs intact"

"I can always count on you to defend my honor" I chuckled "Not that I need you to, by the way"

"Indulge your boyfriend? Just this once?" he put an arm around my waist

"Fine, fine" I laughed. Hell, I felt lucky to have him by my side. Silly, adorable turian.

I decided I'd walk into the medical examination with a clear heart and a clear mind- if the galaxy needed me again, I'd be there. As for the friend, no- the member of my family who betrayed me... how could I ever deal with it? Was I strong enough to face that? At least I had Garrus by my side to go through it: I wasn't alone.