Life Boat :ANDY BEIRSACK FAN FIC

Back to the start

Its been a week since the fight. Andy still hasent talked to you and you havent talked to him, not wanting to because you feel that he truly hates you. for the past week you have been having the same reoccurring nightmare. Jason killing Andy. for the first time you had the night mare you couldent move you couldent help him.the more you tried to move the more you would felt like you were being heald back.the second night you could run but its like you were on a treadmel. You cold run for what seemd like miles but stay in the exact same place. The third night it was worse. You couldent move again but you were standing right infront of andy. You could see his face. The pain he was going through. The fourth and fifth night was the same. Then the sixth night came. You could move and you were right there but you couldent touch them. It was as if a force feild was protecting them you tried to scream. But nothing was coming out. You woke to cc holding you down . You told him you were fine. But the thing is you were opposite of fine. You were having panic attacks again. you haven't eaten in a week and you have berrily come out of your bunk. When you do ots to get water or go to the bathroom. But even then you listen before you walk out because you dont want to have andy or any one see you. The lat time you weighed your self you were 98.2pounds ( a/ n god i would kill to be that small ) but you were still fat. The cuts on your arm have gotten infected. Even though you do your best to clean them and bandage them. And every night you have nightmares. The sad thing is they dont even notice. But then again its a good thing. Because  the more they dont notice the skinnier you can get. They have their first show tonight. And that means you have to go. At about 4:30 cc comes to your bunk and tells you to start getting ready. You do as your told. You do some makeup and put on jeans a sweater and some flip flops. Then put your hair in a ponytail leaving out your fringe. You walk out and sit down in the front ready to go. A few moments later cc comes out then the rest of the guys. When Andy comes out he doesn't even look at you. You and the guys walk to the venue and they do the show. After you go back to the bus. After a bit cc comes to your bunk.
Cc" hey we are going to get drinks. You wanna come?"
You shake your head no.
Y" I'm ganna go to sleep. "
Cc" are you sure."
You shake your head yes and he walks away. After a while you here the door open and shut. Signaling that they guys have left. You sit in your bunk on your phone going through social media. Bad idea. All you see is hate. And more hate. You go in the cabinet with your meds and find a locked box. Fuck. You find a paper clip and a Bobbie pin and pick the lock. You take out your tranquilizers and take two out of the bottle placing them on the counter. Then put the bottle back in the box and lock it back up. When you go to your bunk you take out a water and take the tranquilizers and in a few moments you start to feel sleepy. And then you fall asleep. You have the nightmare again... But this time you can talk yell scream as loud as you want to. But they can't see, hear or feel you. You try to punch Jason but again it's like a force field. This time there's something different. Jason has a knife. Andy is lying there on the ground. Jason brings the knife down on on his chest. Again and again. You scream. Then you wake up screaming and crying and someone holding you Down. Your shaking uncontrollably, hyperventilating , dizzy. Someone sits in the bunk next to you. Wrapping you up in a hug. You breath in. Lavender and musk. Andy. You snuggle into him. And he snuggles in to you somewhat. Felling like he is uncomfortable with you being so close you pull away a bit.
A"why are you moving away from me."
You just shrug your shoulders.
A" cc told me what you think."
You mentally curse cc.
A" it's not true. It's the opposite actually.I'm not mad you at all. I'm thankful. If been trying to get rid of Juliet for such a long time. She is an abusive alcoholic. Did I lover at one point yes. But I STOPED when she told my best friend that he wasn't welcome on the bus, and I couldn't do anything about it because I was on the stage performing. And it caused a friendship to end. But why didn't you tell me she said things like that to you? I could have stopped her. "
Y" I didn't tell you because you loved her. And you being happy is more important than my feelings."
A" no it's not. and I stopped loving her a long time ago. she didn't know it but I caught her cheating on me. multiple times. even though she was often drunk or high. it still hurt. so when I caught her the second time all my love for her went away. the only reason I was still with her is... is because she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. that was two months ago, and last Monday was the first time I had seen her drunk since then and when we fought I found out that she was never pregnant. so I gladly dumped her. it was never your fault. and when she slapped you... I got so mad. its my fault she did. I should have stopped her from slapping you..."

y "you couldn't have know she was going to. that's not your fault."

a" any way why don't you try to go back to sleep ok."

you nod your head yes and lay down and he climes out of the bunk and goes to sit in his. and as soon as you close your eyes you fall in to a dreamless sleep.

A/N ok so that was the next chapter. hope you liked it. let me know what you think.