Life Boat :ANDY BEIRSACK FAN FIC

heart

It's been a week since andy and you talked. You are on good terms but it's still kind of awkward. You still have the nightmare and each time it gets worse but every time you go to sleep you lock your bunk door and put pillows along it to try and block out any noise you make. Most nights you wake up in a sweat and in a panic and most nights you peek out of you bunk and look down to see if andy is ok. But on the nights that they are out you check social media. You have been trying to not sleep. And you've been restricting food big time. Dizziness is common now and you can't stand up with out shakey legs. Most times you are whereing baggy clothing. Tonight is the last concert in illinois. Next is Indiana which you are not looking forward to. And even though you are happy to be with your brother the guys all seem to avoid you. Since it the last show you are going. Then after cc told you that you are going to eat after. And you are going to eat at a fancy restaurant. So you have to where something nice.a few hours later someone comes in and says five hours till show time 35 min till sound check. You here some rustling and know that the boys have started to get ready. As soon as they leave for sound check you get out of your bunk and go to the bathroom to take a shower. As you stand waiting for the water to heat up you look in the mirror. You see areas you still need to fix but as long as you don't eat to much tonight you should be fine. You step on the scale. 87.3 that's fine it means you have lost a few pounds. You step in the shower letting the hot water hit your back. You wash your hair and shave everything that needs to be shaved. By the time you guys are out the guys are back. Cc comes back and tells you that pierce the veil and sleeping with sirens are also going to do a set so the show will be three hours. Then after two hours the guys start getting ready. And you finish drying your hair. And as soon. As the guys are ready you grab everything you need to get ready and everything else, like the clothes and shoes you will be wearing and put it in a bag. You guys are going to a very fancy restaurant and so in order to look nice you need to actually try on your makeup and stuff. When it's time for the show the guys go back stage and you start on your makeup. Which is a brown smokey eye and winged eyeliner and a deep burgundy lip. You also do contour and highlight. You curl your hair and do a simple braid to keep you hair out of your face for a while. The you put on your dress. It's a black high low dress.and you have a pair of black heels. You find a cape and put it on.(a/n capes are fuckin cool okay.) you take out the braid then fix your long hair making it look presentable. And then you walk out of the bathroom. When you do the guys are sitting  and they say hello to you as you walk out. Then they all start to get ready and you sit on the couch and wait. When they are done you all wait for sws and ptv on the bus. When they come you are introduced to them cand they all say hi And you wave. Then realize by the look on Vic's and Kellin's face somethings wrong. Then you realize you don't have you gloves on. Fuck that's just grate you think to yourself, pgood first impression. You run. You abruptly run in to the bus and go back to find a pare of long gloves that will work with your dress. A few seconds later cc comes in to the bus and finds you looking through your stuff.
Cc"what happened are you ok?"
Y"  I'm fine. I waved and I'm not wearing gloves."
Cc"I'm not following why you ran in to the bus."
You look at cc with a really-you-aren't-getting-why-I-am-freaking-out-right-now look and he just looks at you waiting for an answer. You hold out your arms. And a single tear rolls down your cheek. Cc comes up to you and hugs you.
Y" they probably think I'm a freak."
He looks at you and wipes away the tear.
Cc" I highly doubt that"
You look at him and he smiles at you.he then pulls you in for another hug.
Cc" let's find  you some gloves ok."
You nod at him then start looking. After you find a pare of gloves that work you slip them on and then go back outside with cc and then go to the restaurant. Once you get there you see that it's more of a party type formal gathering. You don't see anyone you know. You go to the coat check. You stand in line and the guys hand in there coats. Once you get to the front of the line, you give them your coat and clutch. Then you turn around. All of the guys, including the guys from ptv and sws, are starring at you. You look at cc. He comes up to you.
Cc" you look beautiful."
Y" thanks."
You give him a half smile.you probably don't look beautiful.. He's just saying that because he's your brother and he is supposed to.
Cc" hey. You. Look. Beautiful. Ok you always do." He then proceeds to stand at attention, bow, then offer his hand.
Cc"my lady"
Y" kind sir"
You take his hand and you all walk over to the guys. They still have all there mouths open. You squirm because of all the attention.
"Guys close your mouths you'll get flies." You look at who said the comment. Andy. Who is standing behind you. In an all black suite except for his vest which is a dark blue. His hair is spiked up on to a quiff. He looks really good. Then there's you. God why did you have to like him so much. Why couldn't he like you. You mouth a thank you and he winks at you. You all go and sit down at a table and to your surprise. They have name plates and bvb, ptv, and sws are all sitting at the same table. And who ever planed the party must know you and the boys because you are sitting in between Andy and cc. The guys are talking while you kind of just absent mindedly listen and follow along. Andy leans over and whispers in your ear asking you if you want something to drink.
Y" just a sprite if it's not any trouble."
A"yes ma'lady." He says causing a you to chuckle, causing him to chuckle. He then turns to the other guys and asks what they want to drink and then gets up to place the orders. After a while he comes back and a few minutes after that a waiter comes to the table and hands every one their drinks. You take small sips here and there. Then food comes and its salad with steak and mashed potatoes. You wright down on a paper napkin what you will eat. Because if you don't you won't eat any thing.
20 bites of steak
25 bites of salad
15 bites of mashed potatoes
Normally when you do this you are figuring out how to make it less food but now you have to make it more. You take it one bite at a time. Finishing the mashed potato. Then the meet then the salad. Taking sips of your drink as you go along. Then desert comes out and you have an option of fruit with sorbet, or chocolate custard. Obviously you go with the fruits. You eat half of it then set your fork down. You look around to see everyone digging in to there deserts but you see Andy scribbling on his napkin. When he sees you looking trying to see what he's doing he covers the napkin like a four year old, pouts and says no peeking. You raise your hands in surrender. Then it hits you. The bulimic side of you. At first it's like an itch that you can't scratch. it's annoying but you know eventually it will go away. But then it grows and grows until you feel like your entire body is on fire with shame and disgust for eating. As you sit the itch is getting stronger. You start to get up because you need to get out of the crowded reception hall.cc looks at you with concern.
Cc" are you ok." He looks at you with the are-you-going-to-go-do-something-you-shouldn't look. You give him a small smile
And whisper in his ear because your in public. And your voice is weird.
Y"ya I'm good just need to get some air."
He gives you a weary smile And you go to coat check to get your purse. You step out in to the brisk air. You take out your pack of cigarettes and light one can get it up. Unaware you have been shaking until now. You tell your self to breath. That it will all be ok. But it's like you have a rock in your stomach. You finish one cigarette then light another one because the shaking is only getting worse. After a few minutes you are starting to get dizzy so you find a bench to sit at. You sit with your head down trying to breathe. Suddenly you feel something warm and soft on your shoulders. It smells of Sandalwood and mint. Cc. No matter how long you two are apart, he will always have the same smell. He puts his arms around you.
Cc" hey look at me."
You look at him with same.
Cc" you are beautiful and amazing and I know this is hard and I know bulimia is a bitch, but you will get through this because I am right here and I am not going anywhere. And you also have a bunch of weirdos inside that love you and who would do anything for you." You think of Andy and ash. And all the times that they helped you. And just Andy in general. They way he always knows what to say. And how comfortable you feel around him and how just being near him calms you down. Then you start to think about how he will never love you in that way. Not in the way you love him.you come out of your very brief daydream to see cc staring at you.
Y"what."
Cc"what were you just thinking about?or more appropriate who were you just thinking about." You shrug you shoulders.
Y"I don't know what you are talking about."
Cc"omg you like someone don't you!!!! Who! Ohhhh tell me!"
Y"I don't like someone what! Pshh! What no!!...... Ok maybe.... I don't know.... I am certain he doesn't like me...."
Cc"do I know them. Is it someone in the band?!"
Y"no..."
Cc"omg it is someone in the band! Is it ash?!"
Y"no!"
Cc"jake?!"
Y"no!"
Cc"jinxx?!"
Y"no! Omg just drop it!"
Your face is getting redder and redder with every name he says because there are only so meany members of the band.
Cc" is it Andy?!"
Y"......no..."
Cc" OMG IT IS!!!"
Y" ok so what...."
Cc" I ship it."
Y"omg stooop!"
Cc"awwwww my baby sis has a crush!!!!"
Y" you are so mean!!!!!"
Cc" I know. Are you going to tell him? "
Y" what! no are you crazy!!!!"
Cc"a little bit. You should tell him."
Y"no"
Cc" why not?"
Y" because he doesn't like me that way."
Cc" are you sure?" D
Y" pretty sure. Plus he just broke up with Juliet... He doesn't like me..."
Cc" well weather he likes you or not it's cold and you're shivering. If your feeling ok let's go back inside"
You knows your head yes and take one last drag of your cigarette before getting up.when you get inside you put your purse in coat check making sure you have your phone. And then you and cc walk back to the reception hall. When you get there you see every one has started mingle long and is standing around. You go sit at the table while cc goes and talks to other people. You are on insta taking pics of the party when some music starts playing and people start dancing along as you sit at the ptable you take pictures of the boys. They are all laughing and having fun. At one point a song comes on that you love so you very very quietly start singing along. In the middle of the song ash comes up to you pick's you up and drags you out to the dance floor. Literally drags you. You smile at him and dance for a few songs. After a while you are dancing with all the guys then a slow song comes on. You start walking away but your brother pulls you up and starts dancing with you.
Cc" it's good to see you smiling. And having this thing called fun.!"
You laugh and he picks you up and twirls you around.you are dancing when you feel a tap on your shoulder.
A" can I cut in?" You look at Andy.
Cc" don't step on her toes."
A"yes chief."
Cc gives you a kiss on the cheek and walks away but as he does turns around and wiggles his eyebrows causing you to roll your eyes. Andy bows and holds out his hand and you laugh and curtsy and take his hand, if feels warm and familiar. He places his hand around your waist hand you put your hand on his shoulder. You start swaying back and forth.  
A" it's good to see you smile."
You laugh
Y" cc said the exact same thing." 

Andy gives you a smile and you smile back at him. 

A" its true though. There was a time when i thought I would never see you again... I couldn't sleep i was so worried about you."

Y" well there was a time where I thought i wasn't going to see you again either. I didnt think... Never mind.. Im here , now , in This moment. And i havent been sleeping well either..."

Andy looks down at his shoes. 

A" i know i can here you crying sometimes."

He looks at you in the eyes, but you look down at the ground. 

Y" does cc know..." 

A" no he doesent. He just thinks its a horror film because i put one on whenever i here you. So no one gets suspicious. But would you mind telling me what it's about?"  

Y" what?" 

A" the nightmare. Which i asume is the same everynight." 

Y"oh... Jason... He keeps on attacking someone... Who i know.. And no matter how hard i try i cant help them... I cant scream. Sometimes i cant move either..." 

A" who is he attacking." 

y" a person...you don't know them but its the same person every time."

A" how many times have you had this dream?"

Y"  a week and a half straight.."

A" are you going to tell cc"

Y" if I have it again ya."

A" good. and don't forget I'm always here for you . if you ever have a bad dream or something just climb in to my bed. if I'm all sprawled out  just push me over."

you start to laugh and so does he but then he abruptly stops. he is looking at someone or something behind you with a look of pure hate. you turn your head to see who it is and when you do your body runs cold. Jason is standing in the doorway looking right at andy and you. then it all hits you in one massive wave. the feeling that you've been here before, and why the parking lot is so familiar.this is how the nightmare starts.

Y" andy you need to get out of here now!"

A" like hell I'm leaving with that  all that motherfuckers bones still intact."

Y" andy you don't understand you need to go! Now!"

A" I'm not leaving until he gets a taste of his own medicin."

Y" its you!"

he looks down at you with a look of confusion on his face.

A" what?"

Y" you are the person he is hurting in my nightmare! and this is how it always starts. right down to the fucking song!"

he looks at you takes your head in his hands kisses you on the for head and wipes away the tear rolling down your cheek.

A" we need to get you out of here. now."

he takes your hand and you walk over to the table where every one is sitting.

A" cc we need to get her out of here now."

everyone looks up with concern.

Y" cc he's here."

ccs face goes from concerned to hatred in 2.5 seconds. he grabs a bag from under the table

ash" what's going on?"

cc" Jason is here. we need to get her out of here. ash,Andy take her to the bathroom and guard the door. sis get changed in to this so you aren't running around in a dress. ptv go get the car and have it out front. sws go tell security that Jason madoon is here, they will know who you are talking about. Jake and jinx you stay here and keep a visual on Jason if he move towards any one of us or an exit call and let me know. everyone go know be as quick as you can." cc hands you the bag and you walk off with andy and ash. you go to the bathroom and change into a sweater and leggings and some gym shoes, you then go out of the bathroom an look around for cc. your eyes land on Jason and right at you.

A/N

sorry this took so long! let me know what you think is going to happen next and what you thought about this chapter!!

love you

stay strong!