Control Alt Delete (A BH6 crossover)

Chapter Twenty Nine: Why are you afraid?

Tadashi didn't say anything on the drive home, which suited Hiro just fine. He felt bone weary, like all the aches and pains from his previous incarnations had come crashing down on him. He almost drunkenly walked up the stairs once they were back at the café, flopping into his bed before even removing his shoes. He lay on top of the covers, staring off into space. The room seemed to spin slightly though, so he closed his eyes.

"You didn't tell me what Baymax wanted," Tadashi reminded, breaking the silence. He knew his brother wasn't really asleep. He could hear the difference in his breathing. That and he'd been watching him for several minutes, wondering what was going on in his brother's thoughts.

Hiro let out a sigh as he opened his eyes again. "Nothing much. Guess he really did just want to make sure I was okay."

"He didn't say anything against his programming? Nothing weird?" Tadashi pressed, trying to figure out why Hiro's whole demeanor had changed so drastically in the five minutes he'd been away from the lab. "Because you haven't acted your usual self since I came back from helping a fellow classmate. It's almost like someone told you that you got a failing grade or something."

Rolling to lie on his side, Hiro gave his brother an incredulous look. "No! My current mood has nothing to do with him. Everything just came crashing down, okay?"

Tadashi settled on the edge of Hiro's bed. "What all came crashing down?" he asked gently. "You really haven't acted like yourself lately and I'm trying to understand why but I can't if you don't talk to me. What's going on?"

Hiro idly toyed with the edge of his quilt. "Nothing. I've just got a lot on my mind."

Tadashi sighed. "You know, there used to be a time when you'd tell me everything. I kind of miss that."

That comment caused Hiro to roll to a sitting position, legs crossed underneath him. "I do tell you things," he protested. "I tell you about a lot of things."

But Tadashi shook his head. "Ever since you got out of the hospital, maybe even a bit before, you've been different. More emotional. I don't know how to explain it." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "It's almost like something has shaken your confidence and you're desperately trying to compensate for it but can't."

Hiro was silent, his head slightly downcast. His brother was right. His confidence had been shaken. More than shaken. It had shattered. He kept going through the motions, hoping what he was doing would work out. He wasn't sure of anything anymore. But how could he tell Tadashi that without having to go through the whole timeline thing? That definitely wasn't going to happen. Like ever.

"I admit," Tadashi continued when it was obvious he wasn't going to get an answer, "part of me wondered if it wasn't puberty at first. But that somehow doesn't feel right. I guess it almost feels like you're afraid of losing me."

Hiro looked up, his whole body tensing at that, his eyes giving off the deer-in-headlights look he did so well when startled. "What?"

Tadashi moved closer. "I've heard you talking in your sleep, when you actually let yourself sleep that is. Sometimes you're almost screaming and I can't help but wonder if you'll wake up Aunt Cass. But you haven't. Yet."

"I've been screaming in my sleep?" Hiro didn't look like he quite believed that, though there was a decided shadow of doubt there. He'd dreamed of Tadashi dying in his other timelines, after all. "I don't remember doing that." But if he subconsciously remembered that, it would explain part of why he was afraid to go to bed. That was part of why he threw himself into his work with such abandon.

Hiro watched as his brother seemed to struggle with some internal conflict, wondering just what was going through Tadashi's mind. Had he said anything specific when he'd sleep-talked? He had no idea. "What kinds of things did I say?" The look in Tadashi's eyes almost made Hiro regret asking, but he had to know.