What society wants (Xiuhan fanfic)

confessing (Minseoks POV)

When Luhan pushed to get inside my apartment I was in a state of shock. I couldn't do anything. I couldn't get my arms or legs to move either. It was like I was frozen in my spot, shaking. 

Why the heck is he here?! Why does he want to be here?! He's probably here to laugh in my face about yesterday...did he really come to my house to make fun of me in person just because I didn't go to school today?! How low can he be... 

"Minseok..." he starts off with saying but I didn't want to hear anything he wanted to say. I feel nauseous, I can feel my stomach turning. I don't want him to say anything to me, I'm too scared of what he's going to say!

"I-I-I don't want to hear it Luhan" I quickly say before he could tell me anything. I don't want him to make fun of me, I know he's going to make fun of me. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!

My heart is beating so fast I feel like I'm having a panic attack. The room feels like it's spinning, I'm still nauseous.

"Minseok" he says my name again, like he was trying to focus my attention on him, but I didn't want that. 

"Pl-Please leave my house Luhan" I say, holding back what wanted to come up. 

"I...wanted to know..." Luhan stopped himself there and looked down like he was hesitant on saying the next couple of parts to finish his sentence. 

What, does he want to know how I got so fat?! Does he want to know why I'm so unhealthy!? I couldn't take it, the nauseous feeling hurt my stomach. I quickly turned around and ran out of the room, going to the washroom. 

I locked the door behind me as I ran into the washroom and started puking into the toilet. So much puke came out it hurt my throat. Was that half of the food I ate this morning...and probably some of the food yesterday that didn't digest properly. 

"Minseok, are you okay in there?" I could hear Luhan calling out to me from outside the washroom door. Just knowing he was out there hurt my stomach even more, making me light headed. I want to eat this feeling away, but Luhan is making me so nervous and nauseous that it's making me throw up!

"I said leave, Luhan!" I demand, trying to yell at him through the door but I didn't hear footsteps walking away from the door. I guess Luhan isn't going to move any time soon. 

I wiped the side of my  mouth and flushed the toilet before going to the sink and brushing my teeth. I hope he's still not outside the door. My heart can't stop beating, I know he's going to make fun of me. This was one of the reasons why I didn't go to school, so he didn't have to make fun of me. But no, he comes to me.

I finished brushing my teeth and just stared at myself in the mirror to try clearing my mind. You can do this Minseok, you're going to have to face him at one point. Don't worry Minseok, you can do this.

I take a deep breath out and turn around, opening my washroom door to see Luhan standing there, like he was waiting for me to open the door. 

"Minseok are you seriously okay? You threw up the other day in class as well..." Luhan says, he looked at me...concerned. 

"I'm fine" I manage to say in a tiny voice, walking past him so I could go into the living room and sit on the edge of the couch. 

Luhan followed me and he sat down next to me. Which made me very uncomfortable. I squirmed into my seat, trying to move farther away from Luhan, but my side was just digging into the arm of the couch. 

I glanced at him and he was staring at me, staring at everything! "Can...can you stop looking at me?" I ask,  but that didn't stop him, he was still looking. I couldn't tell if he was judging me, or was just speechless in disgust.