Girl of Never (Chat MD Series #4)

Day 78.3

(Phone conversation)

THU AT 02:02 AM

Call started.

Jianna :
Uh... Hi.

Harry :
Hi.

(Silence)

Jianna :
Ganito kasi... Ano... (Sighs) This is really weird.

(Silence)

Jianna :
If I'm going to let go... uh, something's bothering me.

Harry :
Ano 'yun, Jianna?

(Silence)

Jianna :
When I confessed the first time... it's really weird, right? Ang sinabi ko, 'yung fMRI scan ko at yung blood test.

Harry :
Yeah.

Jianna :
Then, this second time... sa email... ang sinabi ko, 'yung chemical reactions.

Harry :
Yeah.

Jianna :
I'm just... really bothered. Can I... say it in my voice? Without the... uh, without me being a nerd?

Harry :
Say what?

Jianna :
What I... feel?

Harry :
(Sighs) Will it help you?

Jianna :
I don't know. I... think so?

Harry :
Okay. (Swallows) I'm listening.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I'm in love with you. You are my first.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I, uh, checked your genetics the first time we meet. I mean... I checked you out... thoroughly. That's why I was spacing out that time.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I really love... spending time with you. Kahit na no'ng una, puro si Neah lang ang kinukuwento mo.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I love it that you're gentle and you're loyal... but you also strike with humor without warning.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I love your mind. I love it that we can talk about a lot of things without buffer...

(Silence)

Jianna :
I am fascinated by you.

(Silence)

Jianna :
You make me happy and sad. You make me frustrated, too.

(Silence)

Jianna :
(Long sigh) There's a lot to tell you but... all I really want to say is that...

(Silence)

Jianna :
I love you.

(Silence)

Jianna :
If I could, I would choose for you to love me, too. So, I could take half of your pain with me and I would cry with you.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I love you... that if I could, I would choose to understand how much you've been through so I could carry your burdens with me.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I love you... that if I could, I would give you back all that you have lost-her and your laughter.

Harry :
Jianna... Stop-

Jianna :
I love you. It doesn't matter if you are my first heartbreak. What matters to me is that you made me feel something like this.

(Silence)

Jianna :
I will try to let go. (Swallows)

Harry :
(Exhales breath) I'm sorry.

Jianna :
I love you, Harry.

(Long silence)

Jianna :
That's it, I guess.

(Silence)

Harry :
(Weak voice) Okay... I'll hang up now.

Jianna :
Oh... One last thing, Harry...

Harry :
Hm?

Jianna :
Lights out. Matulog ka na, ha?

Harry :
Yeah. Light's out, Jianna.

Jianna :
See you.

(Silence)

Harry :
Take care of yourself.

(Silence)

Call ended.