Girl of Never (Chat MD Series #4)

(-) Day 819

(Video Transcription)

File name : Jun30.mp4
Orientation : Portrait
Setting : Hospital
Duration : 19 minutes, 46 seconds

CONTENT:

Nakalingon si Neah sa tagiliran. Tumingin ito sa camera. Matamlay na ngumiti.

She's wearing a hospital gown. Nakalugay ang buhok. Maputla.

Neah : Harry... It's almost two hours.

Humawak ito sa dibdib.

Neah : My heart's beating weirdly again. So... I need to make one video. For you. Kahit ayaw mo.

Neah took one deep breath bago magpatuloy sa malumanay na pagsasalita.

Neah : If I will die today, without you by my side... please know this.

Kinagat nito ang pang-ibabang labi.

Neah : I love you, Harry. I love you from the first time na naging partners tayo sa lab. Kahit nagugulat ako madalas kasi ang ingay mo... at kahit kinakabahan ako kapag tumititig ka. I love you.

She smiled weakly at the camera.

Neah : I love you... every time na binabasted kita. Bawat 'no' ko sayo... kahit na gusto ko talagang mag-yes... I love you, then.

Neah : Kapag nagse-set-up ako ng dates... para hindi ka siputin... para sumuko ka sa'kin... I kept on praying you'll get angry. Para hindi ka na magtiyaga. Para hindi ka na rin masaktan.

Neah : But everytime, in my heart of hearts... I'm scared, too. I'm scared of you giving up and moving on.

Neah : I kept on saying no to you... because I know the possibility of saying goodbye.

Neah started tearing up.

Neah : Alam kong sa mga natitirang possibilities na meron ako... pinakamalaki do'n 'yung ganito. 'Yung mawawala ako. Because of this fragile heart.

Neah : I know all too well... having this heart... means letting go of all kinds of dreams and desires. Mabuhay nang normal. Huminga nang normal. Magmahal.

Neah : Matagal ko naman nang tinanggap... that I will be just a temporary connection to everyone I will meet. That I'm a fleeting, passing existence.

Neah : I won't experience and do things the way others do.

Neah : At kapag nawala na ako...

Neah's tears fell. She gasped for breath.

Neah : Kapag nawala na 'ko...

Neah sobbed for a while.

Neah : Hindi naman na 'ko takot dati. I know... my case. I live all my life... with this broken heart. I'm prepared, kahit pa'no.

Neah : But meeting you... and being loved by you... changed that. It makes me angry and sad.

Neah : Mula no'ng naramdaman kong mahal kita, tinatanong ko na sa Itaas... Why did I have... to meet you and love you... if the end is just to say goodbye? To you?

Neah : What's the point of falling in love with you and meeting you halfway, if I will just leave you with a brokenheart?

Neah : I'm finally happy. I'm finally looking forward to tomorrow.

Neah : I finally have the courage to wake up and try to live for one more day... even with a heart like this.

Neah : I'm finally looking forward to be a wife... to be your wife... and be with you everyday.

Neah : So, why does something like this has to happen? Why am I saying goodbye to you?

Neah : Alam kong sabi mo at ng mga doktor... na baka hindi pa ito 'yung huli. This new heart might make it. Pero alam nating pareho, 'di ba? It won't.

Neah : My body's rejecting this new heart everyday...

Neah sobbed.

Neah : If I die today... I would be so angry. Because I will be leaving you... the only thing that made me happy in this short life. I would be so angry... dahil alam kong sasaktan na naman kita uli. Mula noon, hanggang ngayon, sinasaktan kita.

Neah : And I'm so scared... I'm so scared because I know... I haven't given you enough happy memories. I haven't showed you how much I could love you. So, why did it has to be so soon?

Neah : I'm so scared... because if I die today... you're going to forget me. I'm just going to be a fleeting existence to you... and I don't want that.

Neah : Kapag nakalimutan mo ko... that would be the death of me. Kapag nagmahal ka ng iba... I don't know the point of all this.

Neah : I don't want to die today, Harry. I want more days with you. I want more time with you. I don't want to be just a photograph you keep or a memory you remember. I don't want to be just a video that will make you cry.

Neah : It's so unfair... some people receive miracles. Why can't I?

Neah : I want to be with you and keep on loving you. I don't want to leave, yet...

Neah : I'm so sorry for being like this, baby...

Neah continuously cried.

Harry entered the frame with a bouquet of flowers. Nasa likuran siya ni Neah.

Harry : Naku si Aling Neah, umiiyak na naman...

Lumingon si Neah kay Harry at mas lalong naiyak.

Neah : Baby... ang tagal mo...

Ibinaba ni Harry ang bulaklak sa kama at yumakap mula sa tagiliran ni Neah. He smiled at her while wiping her tears.

Harry : Iyak ka nang iyak, Aling Neah. Tahan na...

Yumakap nang mahigpit si Neah kay Harry at patuloy na umiyak.

Neah : I was scared... without you.

Harry : Sorry... I took longer than expected.

Neah : Ang tagal mo... Ang sama mo...

Harry chuckled.

Harry : Hindi na po mauulit.

Niyakap ni Harry si Neah at hinalikan sa noo.

Harry : Grabe, baby, malala na 'yang tama mo sa'kin. Hindi pa 'ko isang araw nawawala, sobra na 'yung iyak mo. Baka ikamatay ko sa kilig 'yan.

Hinampas nang mahina ni Neah ang braso ni Harry.

Neah : Don't joke now... I'm seriously scared.

Sumeryoso si Harry.

Harry : I am, too... 'Wag nang umiyak, baby...

Neah sobbed for minutes, bago lumingon si Harry sa video.

Harry : Naku... Nambasted ka na naman sa video, baby? Bad 'yan.

Pinupunasan ni Neah ang sariling luha.

Neah : I just have to make a video for you. Akala ko kasi... kanina...

Harry smiled at the video bago yakapin si Neah.

Harry : You're not going anywhere without me, Neah. So, don't be scared.

Harry : I love you. Don't cry.

Tumango si Neah at mahigpit na yumakap. Ilang minuto silang nanatili sa gano'ng posisyon.

Harry : Patayin ko na 'yung record, ha?

Neah : Okay...

Harry stopped the recording.

[ video ended ]