Girl of Never (Chat MD Series #4)

Day 369

TCWDM : Read Day 368: Sunset of Never Days to Love, first.

(Jianna's letter to Mommy Ludy Fuenterico)

Dear Mommy,

I miss you. Lagi kitang nami-miss mula nung mawala ka na. The house in Minnesota suddenly became too big, too silent, too empty. The kitchen became dull without you cooking. The house here in Quezon looked too old. Pero kahit saan ako pumunta, dahil wala ka, I felt lost and alone.

Lagi kitang nami-miss.

I don't know if I have told you enough how much I love you. But I hope that you've learned about it since you're not in this world anymore. I hope the Higher Power told you how much I love, love, love you. You're in a better place, right? In a place where you could breathe better. In a place where nothing restricts you.

I love you, Mommy. Kahit na hindi talaga tayo naging magka-apelyido nung buhay ka pa; kahit na hindi ako sa womb mo nanggaling, ikaw lang ang Mommy ko. The mother who tirelessly read me bedtime stories. The mother who tirelessly counted sheeps and poultry and other animals with me when I couldn't sleep. The mother who tirelessly answered all the questions I had as a child. The one who cooked for me, sang for me, tucked me in, dressed me, and held me during thunderstorms. The only mother who loved me through and through... despite having a bad heart.

I love you. So much.

Whenever I think of you, I feel this emptiness in my heart that could never be filled by any other kind of love. I miss you with this aching tenderness. I remember you with this tiresome void. So, I must have worried you, right?

I know that you don't want me sad.

Pero alam mo, Mommy, it looks like I won't be that sad anymore.

You told me before, that you wanted to see me with a man who would love me as if there's no other love in the world but me. As if, there's no other home in the world but with me. As if, I am the only one that would complete him. I found that man. I found him difficult, at first. Stubborn. But he loves the way I've never seen anyone loved. He loves without measure and he loves without preservation. We have a lot in common. We complemented each other in a lot of ways, too. And he is also the only love I'm seeking in this vast world.

Na-meet nyo na siya kanina. You approved of him, right? He's beautiful and he's smart, too. I love him so much.

Please bless us, Mommy. Please watch over him the way you watch over me.

I love you and Dad. I miss you.

Love,
Jianna