whatever you say, jerk (SHINee Fanfic)

Chapter 22

I walked home.

By home I meant the dorm.

Well technically I didn't walk home. I tried to. But Jonghyun picked me up halfway through the journey in his car

And it was awkward.

So now I'm here in his car next to him listening to the radio and him talking about Dominic and worrying over whether if he was able to leave an impression on my dad.

And I'm here thinking I'll never be able to see him at the altar of my wedding.

Instead I'll see someone else.

A stranger.

Probably someone in his fifties or something right?

"Nick! Are you okay!!?" Jonghyun asked snapping me out of my daydream. His face was full of worry when I turned my head to face him and I felt tears threatening to come out. He really cares for me. And I've led him on this wild goose chase now knowing we'll never be able to get together.

"Yes... actually... no.... no! No! Look... I can't..." I took my seatbelt off and told him to stop the car. He parked the car with much confusion and I got out.

"Nick! What's going on?!"

"You know don't you!" I shouted. He froze on the spot, his jaw clamped shut.

He knows.

And he's been quiet all this time.

"I can't... I can't go into a relationship with you." I gulped folding my arms seeking warmth that he would

normally provide. He walked over to me grabbing my hips pulling my body against his.

"Don't say that! We could be together!"

"Jonghyun you know I'm engaged!" I cried trying to take his arms off. Pain washed over his face as if he was bearing excruciating pain. That word.

I hate it so much.

Engaged.

All fathers fault.

"You don't have to go through with it..."

"I have to! You don't understand... If I don't... He would find a way to make Dominic to go through with it!" I covered my face with my hands feeling tears come out of the sides.

"Dating is the only freedom I have as the heir to the business.... Who I marry is completely my parents choice. Not mine." My voice broke several times in that sentence and I had to clear my throat.

"Nick please..." His voice broke making me cry suddenly.

"I'm sorry... I am so sorry... I led you through a mad goose chase... You deserve better than me Jonghyun..." I pulled myself out of his grip wrapping my arms around myself. He looked at me with blank eyes and I felt my chest rip itself open.

I can't believe I did this....

But I have to.

"Nick.... Please... Don't do this... We could find a way! I'll find a way!"

"Jon- Oppa."

He's just your oppa now. Just another guy to you. He's no longer special to you. Just another guy.

The voice in my head said quietly

There's nothing you can do Nick.

Please forget me.... Jonghyun.

" Oppa, just go in your car and drive home. I have something to do." I bit my bottom lip to stop it from quivering.

His eyes searched mine as if he was wondering if I was telling the truth. I felt my heart slowly closing it's doors again. A metal wall hiding my emotions from the world.