memories ✯ carl grimes

two

MEMORIES
two | ❝can I promise that?❞

✯

THERE WASN'T A WHOLE LOT of stuff to do, which was a good thing, Marnie supposed. It was better than spending each day on the run from walkers. Even though it was so peaceful, she couldn't relax. She wasn't as naïve as Eloise and Bethany, who could play with their babies each day, courtesy of Sam.

The only thing that was keeping her occupied was training with the gun, or writing stuff out in a notebook. Carly, who was majoring in psychology before the outbreak, had told Marnie that writing out how she felt was good for anxiety. She had never mentioning anxiety to Carly, or anyone for that matter, but she had a feeling Jamie had spoken to her about it.

"Hey, Marnie," Eloise grinned, resting her head on Marnie's shoulder. She was the younger of the two siblings, and Marnie's favourite. She didn't know the exact story of how they ended up under the care of Sam and Carly, but she guessed it was similar to her and Jamie.

"Are you okay?" Marnie asked as Eloise twirled her hair.

"What're you writing?" she asked, peering over Marnie's shoulder.

"Just stuff," Marnie said. She exhaled, then closed the notebook and placed it next to her. She clapped her hands and turned to Eloise. "How about we play barbies again. We never finished that game last time."

Eloise's face lit up and she nodded eagerly, pulling two barbies out from behind her, as if she had expected Marnie to offer.

As Marnie began getting into character, a high-pitched scream came from the other side of camp. Eloise froze in place, and Marnie felt her heart pound. Sam was out hunting, and Ben was with his dad on another run. She looked around, unable to spot Jamie or Sasha, or anyone with a gun.

Marnie picked up Eloise, hoisting her onto her hip before running towards the source of the scream. It probably wasn't the best idea in hindsight, but there wasn't really another option. She spotted the school bus and was about to approach, when she saw Bethany falling backwards and into view. Blood was running down her forehead, mingling with tears. A walker appeared a few seconds later, snarling and snapping.

"Stay here, okay?" Marnie ordered, setting down a terrified Eloise. She looked around, spotting a large rock. The walker was on top of Bethany now, eating her face. Her screams turned into gargles, and then silence. Realistically, if Marnie hadn't of thrown the rock, the walker might not have noticed her and Eloise. But she threw it without thinking.

The walker's head snapped up and he looked towards Marnie. Eloise let out a scream, and Marnie assumed it was from the walker that had killed Bethany. It wasn't. But Marnie didn't know that. Her eyes were locked on the walker in front as she fiddled with the knife in her belt. Realising that Eloise had fallen silent, Marnie looked behind her.

Another walker had found a meal in a young girl. Marnie felt sick. She gulped and started walking back. But she couldn't go back, because of the walker that killed Bethany. Her heart started pounding as she watched blood spurt from Eloise's neck.

"Marnie?!"

Jamie's voice rang through the forest in desperation. Marnie felt her hand tighten around the knife. She couldn't shout for Jamie - her voice was gone. But she had her knife, and the advantage of being small and fast. The walker that had killed Bethany was closest. Marnie ran forward and as the walker stretched its arms out, she ducked and ran behind it. She raised her knife up and drove it into the walkers skull. Her first kill.

It fell to the ground, but the knife was stuck. No matter how hard she pulled, it wouldn't budge.

"Marnie!" Jamie yelled. He ran out of the trees and saw a walker just inches from Marnie. He shot his gun, causing Marnie to jump, and the walker fell to the ground. Jamie ran to Marnie and lifted her up, hugging her twice.

"Are you okay?" Jamie asked, pushing the hair from Marnie's face. Her eyes were wide with fear. She couldn't speak, but she nodded, and he pulled her back to him.

"Jesus Christ," Sasha muttered, clasping her hand around her mouth. Tyreese and Bear appeared a moment later, followed by Carly and Donna. Donna let out a cry at the sight of the two dead girls.

"Where the hell is Ben?" Sam demanded, "he was told to stay here."

"Maybe he went with Allen on that run," Carly shrugged, rubbing Sam's back. Marnie was still in Jamie's arms, only now she was crying softly. If she had a gun, maybe she could have saved the girls.

"I'm not sayin' you did the wrong thing by shootin' that gun," Bear began, looking at Jamie, "but if there was two walkers here, that means they'll be more. And they'll be headed here."

"I know," Jamie said, pulling away from Marnie but holding onto her hand. "We're gonna need to move."

✯

Being told that they would need to move camp almost destroyed Marnie. She loved this camp. The area was safe, and quiet. Or was safe and quiet. And it was her fault. At least it felt like that, anyway. Ben had returned with his dad from an unsuccessful run and was met with yelling and threats from Jamie. Not only were two girls dead, but his sister could've been killed because of his negligence.

Donna and Allen had comforted Ben, telling him it wasn't his fault, and it was okay. But it was his fault. Realistically, there was nothing Marnie could've done. It was Ben's responsibility to look after the girls. And he failed.

Sam couldn't bear to ensure Eloise and Bethany wouldn't come back, so Jamie did it. And afterwards, there was a funeral. Bear spoke the most, detailing how kind, funny, and full of life the girls were.

"You know," Jamie said, after the funeral. Everyone was packing up their bags and tents, ready to move, "this wasn't your fault."

"I could've," Marnie began, gulping back tears, "if I had a gun-"

"If you had a gun, you would've missed," Jamie said, matter of factly. He crouched down to Marnie's level. "You're still a kid, Marn. I know you want to grow up and protect everyone, but that's not your job. Not as long as I can help it."

"But they're dead," she replied, "and I couldn't even get the knife out."

Jamie sighed and looked at the sky for a moment, choosing his words. When he looked back at Marnie, she saw the brown of his iris's glistening with tears.

"When I heard that scream, Marnie, I was terrified. I thought I had lost you. I want you to defend yourself, and I want you to be strong. But if I do, that means there's no excuse for why you can't go for runs, or patrols. It's selfish, I know. God-"

His voice trailed off, and he wiped his eyes with his sleeve. It was the first time Marnie had ever seen him cry. Even when their family was killed, he didn't cry. He probably did, but not in front of Marnie.

"You're not allowed to die," he continued, "I'll help you learn how to take a knife back out of a walker. And I'll continue to teach you how to fire a gun. But Marnie, you need to promise me you won't get killed."

"Can I promise that?" Marnie asked.

"No," Jamie replied, "but promise me anyway."

✯