Damaged Goods

Gay Panic

Not gonna deny it, we had too much ripping into Dean about Cassie. For Sam it was endless fun. For myself, it was practice for Castiel. Oh yeah I was gonna be a monster to him when Cas came.

Dean just made it too easy. Right now- he was out at her house. To ask her questions about what happened. Something that shouldn't take long, yet it was two hours later and he hasn't come back.

Like...did he think we weren't going to give him hell in the morning for this? That we weren't getting ready for bed with a matching pair of shit eating grins? Myself, I was picturing the scene that would come in the morning as Sam and I would tease Dean for it.

Settling into the motel beds- as it was obvious Dean wouldn't be coming back- I tucked myself in with the thoughts of Dean's face tomorrow dancing in my head. No sugar plums needed for this girl!

Sam let out a quiet chuckle in the night. Guess he was thinking about it too.

"It's nice that he has somebody like that." I mused.

"Huh? Oh yeah. It's nice." Sam spoke softly, as we'd turned off the lights. It had felt...freeing...to speak in the dark that was now here.

"Right? Because he was the one going off on you for having friends in college that you still talked with. That he has someone like that? That he told the Secret to? Man...to see him with a relationship that matters."

"You think?" Sam asked.. "Even though he told her-"

"Sam, come on, you can't tell me you never once thought it. Never had those days with Jess where you went 'now. I can tell Jess right now. She'd understand.' But then you backed out. Still...you wondered." I suggested.

Silence. For a long pause. "Yeah."

"Now we're here, because Dean let himself be open to somebody." I went on, suddenly feeling wistful. Though as I thought that I realized what I had said. Well wasn't that just awkward? "Sorry. Closet romantic, probably because I'm in the closet."

"Wait...you've come out to me." Sam reminded me.

"...oh."

Sam let out a small chuckle. It made me feel better, despite all the awkwardness in the air. "Did you ever have someone like that? That you wanted to tell the Secret?"

Well...considering he was talking about hunting, but I viewed my Reality Traveling as I higher priority, I'll work from that.

My first instinct would be Darcy. Only she wasn't a romantic partner (blech) and I told her after less than a week. Maybe some of the Equestrians? Nah, it was fun to keep them on their toes. There hadn't really been a romantic inter-

"Oh! It came out?!"

My brain blue screened.

"Raven?"

"One. I had one." I admitted, sucked in by the bitter old friend known as nostalgia.

Sam sat up on his elbow. Even in the dark, I could see the questioning look on his face. He wouldn't push for it. He would still take in the story that I would tell.

"Reighley Ravaydark." Wow, even speaking her name hit me in the second heart I didn't have right now. "She was..." A deep breath came out from my mouth, filling me with the same delight as sugar plums. "...ya know?"

"Yeah. I get it."

There had been something incredibly special about Reighley. She was a human in the 52nd century, in a time period when things like gender didn't stop them from dancing. She had liked me from the start. We'd met because I was looking at a book for Sherlock Holmes. Yes, that story would still exist in the future. She explained it was one in a series of revived classics from millenia ago- including one about myself and another about Harry Potter.