My First Crush

Chapter 19: One step foward

"What do you want?" I asked straight.

"You might have noticed we spoke nothing about you to anyone." Jason told me.

"What would you tell? I have nothing to hide" I said trying to sound confident.

"Sure of that? Do your parents know how we found you on Friday? Does anyone know about the bruises on your legs? Did you told anyone how close from dying nights ago?" Eric enlisted and I ended up speechless.

"From now on there are going to be rules Cece- you are going to tell us everything that is going by that little mind of yours and you are never going to lie to us." Jason stated.

"No let me get this clear, you will leave me alone, no more forcing me to talk.No more summoning me to answer your questions, you will just carry on with your lives and leave me the hell alone!" I shouted and stormed out the room.

Walk. Don't hesitate. Don't cry- I told to myself.

"Cece?" I heard someone calling me too softly from behind and as I turned around...

"Evan." I sighted.

"How are you feeling?" he asked with painful eyes.

"Seriously?" I asked trying to avoid laughing because he couldn't be serious...

"No I was just fooling around, I really meant to ask what color is the sky today." he used sarcasm.

"Blue, I think" I said and he laugh... I missed laughing...

"Did you talk to Nate since he went away?"

"No."

"You angry at him, aren't you?"

"I'm angry at everybody"- wait why was I being sincere?

"Right." He nodded. "Cece your bleeding!" he suddenly screamed.

F*CK! I ran to the bathroom and with the odds in my favor there was no one inside. I looked at my pants, stained with blood... ugh. Before I could clean the bleeding wounds Evan stormed inside too... Great.

"What's wrong!? Let me see." He pleaded worried.

"It's nothing just an open wound..." I assured.

"Let me see it." he repeated.

"No." I denied.

"If not I'm going to look for the nurse" he challenged.

Ugh I hated him! I was left with no option but to slide the rough materials of the jeans down my legs. Evan was already soaking some paper and before I could react he had grab hold of my tights pulling me up and seated me next to the sink. It all happened to quickly yet my heart rate increased badly when his fingers brushed against my thights sending shock waved up my body.

When he softly rested the wet paper in the wound I gasped. "Sorry" he mumbled and then gently stroked the paper against the wound removing the blood.

"Why do I think your legs look worse than before?" he asked slowly.

"Because they are turning into scars- they are more disgusting" I said bitterly.

"Don't describe them like that- it is not your fault, or at least I hope not" he told me. What? Wait!

"I didn't cut myself Evan!" I cried.

"Well you don't let me with much to else think, you tried to..." he tried to say kill but he couldn't- instead he turned round so I was no longer facing him.

"What do you want of me? The three of you, what do you want me to do?" I asked defeated lying againstthe wall.

Evan faced me again- and his expression changed, his eyes were watered...

"We..." he started but then stopped and sighted "I just want you back, I am staring at a different girl from the one I met in Paris..." he tried to explain.

"Sorry if you don't like how I am now, but it is who I turned into." I told him harshly.

"No its not!" he shouted catching me off guard "You are broken and hurt- you don't care for yourself anymore, you have given up and it kills me not to know why!" he barked.

"There are some things I just can't talk about!" I defended myself.

"Oh look at you Cece! Baggy eyes, pallid anorexic body, bitch attitude... You are dying, and you are harming yourself so bad- and you don't even care! How do you think that made me feel?"

"I don't know! Why don't you just tell me!?"

"It fucking hurts. It hurts to see how you are and that I was not there to stop it!"

"And why is that my problem? I'm tired and I don't want to be bothered, I don't know what do because everything goes wrong and it started the same day we agree in being no one to each other!" the words left my mouth before I could stop them.

"I..." he was shocked and so was I. "Listen I know I can't and won't tell you I'll fix you or that I will heal you and I understand you want to keep being in that secrecy bubble of yours but you can't deal with everybody alone, especially not Jason. Don't shut me away I swear I won't pressure you, oblige you or question you as long as you trust me." he declared.

"Will you pass me my jeans?" I asked him afraid to answer a direct yes. He nodded and instead of just handling them to me he helped me in them, and my skin burned in the places his bare hands had touch my wounded legs.

"We are already getting late to class" he stated but I just shrugged "Right I forgot you didn't care... Can we go to the cafeteria I didn't have breakfast and I want to eat." He asked and though I doubted his real intentions he had shaken some reason inside me and I decided not to argue him but just to follow him.

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Tess