Blue Moon (Phil Lester x Reader)

6. An awkward dinner

Hi guys! I'm back, finally :D hope you like this!

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' So, what do you do for a living?'

You were left alone with Dan in the lounge while Phil was cooking dinner in the kitchen. Dan sat across from you in a chair, taking a sip of his coffee before returning his gaze to you. You felt extremely uncomfortable. When you had agreed to coming over to their place for dinner you hadn't realised Dan would be there too. You'd have to interact with two people for a whole night, and one of them you didn't even know.
'I uh...I work in a bookstore' you mumbled, staring at your hands.
'Oh that's cool! You like books then?' Dan really tried to get the conversation going, but it wasn't of much use, given the introvert he was talking to.
You nodded as an answer, still not making eye-contact.
It was silent for a few moments - a really awkward silence that was - as Dan seemed to realise you weren't going to talk much. He ran his hand through his hair a few times before speaking up again.
'Well uhm I make YouTube videos like Phil.'
You already knew that - Phil had told you that the second time in Starbucks - and again you just nodded.
'Yeah it's...it's fun..' Dan mumbled before laughing awkwardly. 'You don't really talk much, do you?'
He too looked quite uncomfortable by now, and you half-smiled at him, trying to be a bit more outgoing.
'I'm sorry...I'm a bit socially awkward' you spoke softly.
'Oh, me too!' Dan exclaimed, a smile appearing on his face. But that smile was soon replaced by a serious face again, as the silence returned.
'I'll go see if I can help Phil with anything' the brown-haired Brit muttered as he stood up and rushed out of the room, leaving you all alone.
'Okay' you whispered to no one.

Part of you wanted to run out of there and leave, but you couldn't just do that. Phil had put effort in making dinner for you, and you knew you and he would both feel bad if you left
You looked around a bit, hoping it wouldn't take too long before dinner was ready.
The faster this night was over, the better it would be.

~~~

You ate in silence, as Dan and Phil were having a discussion about some game you didn't really know. You zoned out a bit, consumed by your own thoughts.

'(Y/N)?'
Your head shot up to look at Phil, who's snapped you out of your own little world. 'Wha?' you said with your mouth full of food. Your face immediately turned bright pink.
'I asked if you were enjoying your meal' Phil chuckled.
You nodded silently, returning your gaze to your nearly empty plate.
From the corner of your eye you saw the two men share a look, and you knew what they thought. You were silent.
Too silent.

You wanted to talk, start a conversation, but you didn't know how. You weren't used to being around people and talking to them, it didn't come naturally. And every time Phil or Dan would talk to you you'd be too awkward to reply in a normal way.

After dinner Phil and Dan both went to the kitchen to put the dishes in the sink. When they didn't come back after a few minutes, you decided to go tell them it was time for you to go home.
You didn't really know the way around their apartment, so you want in the direction of their voices. You hesitated as you reached the glass door of what must've been the kitchen. You could hear them talking, but they had no idea of that.

'...very quiet Phil. I don't know...It's kinda strange...' you heard Dan say.
' Dan! She's really nice, I know that. She's just shy-'
'She didn't even try to talk to us! I'm not saying she's not nice, it's just...'

You didn't want to hear more of the conversation. They were talking about you. They thought you were weird.

They don't like me. Dan doesn't like me. And now Phil won't want to be friends with me anymore.

All that was going through your head while you silently but quickly went back to the lounge, taking your coat and bag. You got to the front door unnoticed and left.
You hailed a taxi as it was already becoming dark outside. When the car started to drive, you saw Phil coming out of the building with a confused and worried look on his face. For a second you made eye-contact, and you quickly looked away, but he had obviously recognised you.

After a minute your phone buzzed, and you hesitated before unlocking it. You had a text from Phil.

Phil Lester: why did you leave? Why didn't you say anything? You scared us.

You didn't respond to the text. You didn't know the answers to his questions. You didn't know exactly what happened in your head when you left, but it probably were your insecurities kicking in again.

One week. You had met Phil only one week ago. And you could've seen this coming - you should've. You could've known he would leave you be.

Technically, I left hi- no! Shut up.

Now you were never gonna hear from him again.

After all it turned out exactly as you expected it would.

At least...

That's what you thought.

Never see him again.

Please, don't let me ever see him again.