unsteady j.d + t.j

1.3

a year later

josh and tyler have hugged more than both boys have ever hugged anyone. both kissed more than anyone of us can fathom. both cuddled like they're life depended on it. both happy as can be.

josh still has problems. there never really gonna go away. he's always gonna be just a little unsteady. he will always will be this way, but he's still happy most of the time.

josh's mother knows this too. she's accepted it, had no chose. but she still loves him, always will. she sees how happy tyler makes him and she's happy.

josh literally lights up when he sees tyler, they've always had play dates, always had sleepovers. even on the week days, just tons of begging and puppy dogs; got them that advantage.

josh blushes everyday, every hour, every minute. its now normal for josh to have red rosy cheeks. tyler has kept his promise like he attends to do. it's easy for him because who can't remember to make sure to tell the most aesthetically beautiful person, that their beautiful everyday?

now the small duo ate at lunch, josh eating cut up granny smith apples, and tyler eating tacos from home. josh has been trying to eat more meals but smaller meals. he decided months ago, that he wouldn't starve himself.

not eating just makes you gain weight and an eating disorder. he wish people would see that.

all the small chattering from each student made the whole lunchroom roar in mixed conversations. tyler and josh heard many conversations around them but, one conversation. one stood out.

every since they've gotten in 8th grade, they've heard people talking about it, not sure what they what they were talking about; tyler came out the idea of asking someone what it was.

it had to be someone nice, tyler thought. so he turned around and tapped on a girl's shoulder. he knew her, she was well known in 8th grade. she was pretty popular. mostly because of her unique-ness and what she was into.

she turned around half way.

she had long thick lashes, and her hair pastel pink and baby blue. parted into to two different colors. she was born like that and her 'condition' turned out to be on her side.

"yes?" she says politely waiting for tyler to speak.

"oh yea...well, so me and my fren," tyler points to josh, "we have heard this thing going around about sex, and it seems like everyone's talking about it and we just wanted to know what it was." tyler says blushing madly. he feels like he should have already knew what it was.

she giggles, causing tyler and josh to blush even more, "awww. it's cute that you still have. your innocnece. look, i'll explain what sex is, but I'll do it in the most innocence way possible. I want you two to still somewhat have your innocence. oke?" the girl says.

a still blushing tyler looks over at josh, tyler raises his eye brows at his best fren, as I'd to ask him if he really wanted to know. josh nods, understanding the silent question. tyler turns back to the girl, having all the reassurance he needed.

tyler nods at her, she smiles turning around fully and starts to explain. they had 45 more minutes left of lunch, so there was no worry.

|-/ stay|-/ alive|-/ for|-/ me |-/

after the talk both at the boys. stayed quiet. not an awkward quiet, more of a thinking quiet.

before leaving lunch, tyler thanked melanie. she made a short description. it was something you did with a person you loved and it felt good. you kissed and did more. that was her most innocent "talk" to her, without actually giving them the talk. they're parents need to do that. she also told them they were all too young to do it, but that went completely through one ear and out the other.

the love part is what really made them listen. they loved each other endlessly.

now laying on josh's bed. josh decided to break the silence, with a question that was plagued in his mind.

"tyler?"

"yea jish?

"do...do you love me?" josh asks hesitantly. he can't help but feel insecure.

"OF COURSE! who wouldn't love that gorgeous face of yours? your so pretty and perfect jishwa. i love you so much," tyler says, sitting up and moving to next to josh.

josh blushes, but he still needed reassurance. "i wanna try. i wanna try what melanie told us, i love you and if you love me.....prove it."

tyler smiled, "i will"

tyler slowly leaned in to kiss him, his breath washing over josh's face. josh closed the kiss, parting his lips. they kissed slowly, so passionately. so much love.

tyler slowly slide onto josh's lap, kissing him harder, releasing all his emotions for josh. he didn't know what he felt, but it was always there when he was around josh.

josh. his best fren. his only fren, the only one he wants.

tyler subconsciously grinded into his lap, making both of their breaths mingle together, labored. "i-i didn't know it felt this good josh" tyler breathes against josh's lips. josh nods breathlessly, "i-i d-didn't either. this is amazing"

tyler suddenly stops, "what's that?," tyler asks grinding into josh's lap, to tell him what he was talking about. josh groans and blushes.

AWKWARD

first published: dec. twenty seven, two thousand six

re published: thurs, june 20th, 2019