Missing A Twin

Chapter 10 : Finding a distraction for nerves

Chapter 10

Later...

Riker POV

Jeff had slammed his textbook closed, and I screamed. I was trying so hard right now to make myself just calm down. I don't know why I get so scared, but I do, and I can't help it!

I closed my eyes, trying to breathe. But instead, I started sweating, and I felt sick.

I jumped up, and ran to the bathroom, barely making it in time. I started throwing up in the toilet.

Jeff came in, and sat next to me. He started rubbing my back. I finished up, but my stomach hurt. I can't get rid of my nerves. And I guess this is how Jeff has felt his whole life. Except he reacts differently than me. He has panic attacks.

"You really need to stop thinking about it, Riker. You're too caught up in your head. And I know it's hard not to think about it, but you have to force yourself to think about something else."

I started to cry. I'm just so stressed out right now, and there's nowhere I can go to feel better. Anywhere is terrifying.

Jeff walked me back to his bed. I laid down, and ran my fingers through my hair. Jeff went back over to Nick's bed where they were doing homework.

I still felt so shaky inside. I don't know what to do anymore. I've completely lost my appetite, I feel sick, and I'm too scared to do anything. Like how do I fix that!?

"Jeff?"

"What, Riker?"

"I think I'm going to go for a walk, ok?"

"Sure."

I slid my phone into my pocket, and walked out of the room. I feel like maybe I just need some air. Maybe I need to get out of that bedroom. Who knows...

I walked down to the cafeteria, debating on whether I want to try to force myself to eat or not. I decided not to because I was scared I'd throw up. So I just sat down at an empty table. And then 2 guys sat down across from me.

"Are you Riker or Jeff?"

"I'm Riker..."

"I'm David and this is Trent. We're Jeff's friends."

"Hi..."

"He said you might transfer here," David said.

"Yeah..."

"Is it because of the shooting at your school?"

"You know about that?"

"Jeff had a panic attack when it happened. We helped calm him down."

"Oh... Yeah, it's because of the shooting. I just get myself so freaked out when I hear loud noises, and then I make myself sick. I'm too scared to be at my school."

"Well then you should transfer here."

"Well I'm trying... I still have to talk to my parents. We don't exactly have a lot of money..."

"Oh... So what are you doing down here without Jeff?"

"I just needed some space, I guess... And he's doing homework with Nick, so..."

"Do you want to come hang out with us? We were just going to work on one of our songs for Warbler practice."

"Sure..."

I followed them back up to the dorm rooms. Their room was across the hall from Nick and Jeff's.

I sat down on one of the beds.