Catch me if you can [NARRY AU]

Chapter eighteen

I looked at him and smiled. All though the circumstances, I felt happy. He loved me. I still had a lot of questions, but I had the feeling he would tell me everything I wanted to know when he was ready, not when I was.


"Here" he said and pulled a phone out of his back pocket of his jeans.


"What?" I asked. Was he really giving me a phone?



"Look, I can't be seen with you, how much I want to show you off to the world. This is a throw away phone, they can't trace it-"


"Trace it?!"



He sighed and nodded.


"Yeah. My past is hardcore. Now, this phone has only one number, mine" he said, showing me the same phone which I guessed was his. My eyes widened. I guess this was serious shit then.


"You can call me safely, okay? Now, this is gonna be hard, but we, ehm, we can't see each other anymore" he said, sadness wrapping around his voice.


"I figured" I said, hanging my head.


"Hey, hey, look at me. Harry, babe, look at me" he said sternly but softly.


I looked up to meet his eyes and I calmed down. I needed to cherish this moment and look at him and take in all of his features, because I won't be able to do that for a while. I studied his face. His eyes, which I won't forget so easily, his pink, soft lips, his rosy cheeks, his very straight teeth, his dyed hair. I cupped his cheek with my hand and he smiled.


"I'm gonna make sure we can be together, okay? I'm gonna make sure I can show the world that I love you, I promise you" he said, and the sincerity his voice held was overwhelming.



"Wait" he said, and got off of my lap, leaving a cold spot. He walked to some shelves and grabbed... toilet paper?


"What are you doing?" I slightly chuckled.



"Just, wait" he said, a smirk noticeable in his voice. He ripped of a huge piece and wrapped it around his waist. He made a huge knot and faced me.



"So, it's almost Christmas, and I wanna give you something" he said.



"Are you giving yourself?" I asked laughing. He tried to lighten the mood and it worked.



"Sort of. Harry, will you be my boyfriend?" he asked me. I could tell he was a bit nervous, and it was so fucking cute I couldn't help but smile.



"Yes, of course" I said. He came to sit in my lap again, with a bit of force and smashed our lips together. First it was kinda sloppy, but it turned sweet fast and I felt his tongue run over my lips. I opened my mouth and let him explore. It wasn't too heated, because we know if we got horny we couldn't get away fro each other. He pulled away and pecked my lips a couple times, then got off of my lap and helped me stand up.



"Good" he smiled lazily.


"I feel bad, I haven't got you anything"


"You saying yes was my gift" he smiled.



"God, you're so cheesy" I told him, laughing a bit. He just smiled and pecked my lips once more.


"So, I eh, this is goodbye?" I asked. I couldn't cover up the sadness in my voice. All though I was over the moon I could call Niall officially mine, no one could know about all of this.


"For now" he said. He pecked my lips one more time, then walked out. It was a quick goodbye and I guess that was good. That way it wasn't too hard.



Oh fuck that, I was balling my eyes out right now. I laid on the floor, curling up in a ball and just cried. I didn't know what I was feeling and the confusion frustrated me more and I was sad but also happy and it was just too much. I was solidly sobbing at this point. Not that I cared. All that I could care about was Niall. My boyfriend. That thought made me cry even harder, if that was possible at this point. My throat hurt and my eyes turned dry and my nose was running like mad. My entire body hurt, but I also felt numb. I couldn't hear anything but my thoughts, and that's what scared me.


My vision was blurred due the tears, but I could see the door open and two boys standing, just looking at me. One picked me up whilst the other caressed my face. Then, everything turned black.





***



I woke up in my bed and felt like a truck ran over me a million times. I turned around to see it was four in the afternoon. I guess Liam and Louis brought me home. I heard a knock and saw Liam peeking in.



"Oh Harry" he came rushing over me and took me in his arms. I hid my face in the crook of his neck and started to cry again, but this time silently. I wanted to tell Liam everything so badly, but I know I couldn't. That would only put him in danger, and if something happened to Liam, I could never forgive myself.


"Ssh, it's okay, ssh, I'm here, Lou is here, ssh" he hushed. I became calm but buried my head a little deeper in his neck. I needed a good cuddle right now and Liam seemed to know. He rubbed my back and kept telling me it was okay. He knew better then to ask me what's wrong. I really didn't want to talk about it, nor I could. What should I tell them when they finally would ask? I couldn't tell them the truth, but I also didn't want to tell a lie so that they would hate Niall. I panicked and my breathing became uneven. I felt my chest tighten an it felt like someone punched me in the stomach. Fucking asthma attack.



Liam quickly let go of me and went through the inside of my nightstand to find my inhaler. He gave it to me as soon as he found it. Slowly, my breathing became a normal pace and I calmed down.



"I'm so sorry Harry" he told me.


"It's not your fault. It's no one's fault" I told him. We both know we weren't talking about my asthma attack.


"It is his fault" Liam said with a lot of venom in his voice. I knew that this would happen, but it was not like I had a choice then to go along with it. Maybe they could help me stay away from Niall, because I sure as hell wasn't able to do that on my own.



"I don't wanna talk about it" I simply said. Liam nodded. Suddenly, Louis stormed in.



"Harry, are you okay? I'm gonna kill that punk I swear to fucking god" he said. I didn't question him, the look on his face told me he was absolutely pissed.



"Lou, let's just, do something fun, okay? I wanna do something" I said. Maybe going out would help me get my mind of Niall.


"What do you wanna do?" Lou asked me. I had no idea, because I was sure that even if I bungee jumped, I couldn't get my mind off of him.



"I don't know, something that makes me forget" I told them. They looked at me sympathetically, but not for the right reason.



"Haz, you're not gonna drink again" Liam said sternly. I wasn't planning on that again, only the thought of drinking sometime soon made me almost throw up.



"I know, I just wish I could forget him" that was a complete lie. I wanted to remember him, because I knew I wouldn't be able to see him - besides college - and that would make me forget him.



"You know, why don't we go out for dinner, yeah? Just us, it's been a while" Liam suggested. I smile at him. It has indeed been a while, and I was longing for a guy's night.


"Yes!" I shouted.


"Okay, make yourselves ready then, I'll call a place I know" he told us and speeded out of my room. Louis came to sit on my bed and hugged me. This time, I didn't cry.


"I'm so sorry, Haz" he told me. It was all he said, but it was enough


"Let's not think about it, okay? What are you gonna wear?" I asked him, changing the topic. Louis lit up by the mention of his clothes. Sometimes, he made me wonder if he wasn't gay. I'm not gonna lie, Louis is very handsome and if he was gay or bisexual, I would have made my move a long time ago. But he was just a handsome guy compared to my Niall. My Niall. I could say it. I know we went fast, we told each other we loved one another already, but my opinion was that if you know you truly love someone, you should let them know. I let Niall know that I loved him, and I was over the moon when he told me he loved me too. I was in love with him, so utterly in love that I went through not seeing him for our safety.



"... - Harry? Harry!" Louis waved his hand in front of my face. Guess I zoned out.



"Yeah, what? Sorry" I said sheepishly.


"You thought about how I was going to look smoking hot with my outfit for tonight, weren't you?" Lou wiggled his eyebrows.


"Oh yes" I fake moaned. Lou and I always made kind of sexual jokes with each other, it was a thing we came up with in high school. This one time we were locked up in a closet and no one could here our screams, so we decided that maybe if we pretended to have sex people would rescue us. Which they did, very quickly.


"You animals!" Liam shouted from downstairs.


"Get ready! And no shower sex!" he added. We laughed and I got up to get ready.













Zayn's pov


This is going the wrong way. I should have known. He wasn't ready for a normal life yet, but we all pushed him. He is getting bad again an I can't do anything but believe it was mainly my fault. How could we be so stupid? He told us he wasn't ready, yet we chose to ignore him and bring him back in the normal routine of life just so that we could be happy. We were so selfish. God.



The first few day's, he was fine. I believed our choice was the right one. But then he started to feel this feeling he hadn't felt in a long time. He probably never felt this. And that made him go insane once again. It's not his fault. I don't blame anyone. Anyone but myself. I should have known. I was the one that knew him best, but I guess I was wrong. I feel so bad for him. For them, actually. Neither of them signed up for this.



Truth to be told, I never saw it coming. A relapse, yes, him feeling, no. First I was so happy for him, but it turned out for the worst. I should've protect him.



I can't tell anyone. He wouldn't let me. And to be honest, I don't need another reason for people to hate me. Ridiculous, I know. Selfish, yes. But sometimes, it's too much for me too. I love him, I really do. And I'll do whatever it takes for him to get better.











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So, after the last chapter, I had a little bit of a writer's block because I didn't know what to do next. This is kind of like a filler, bUT THE END, ZAYN , WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DEEP HANDSOME GUY?


Anyway, this kinda sucked, but yeah, it's the end of 2013 so maybe it's something to work on in 2014.



I hope you had a great year. Sometimes life is not easy but I truly hope you guys had at least a few things to look back on with a smile on your beautiful face!




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