Living With That Bennett Boy

Chapter Twelve: Here I Am

That feeling of weakness you get when something leaves from your life. It could be a boyfriend, a friend, a dog, a relative, anything. But in that moment of loss, is when the feeling of weakness begins to seep out of your body. You can't control it because, well, it controls you. You no longer have control over your own body. 

I guess now would be the time to cry, yet again. But I can't. I felt like I've cried all my tears. And for what? My maybe dead sister? Hah, now I see why people call me over dramatic. Makes sense now. 

"Raleigh?" I felt a slight nudge from behind me. "I am gonna go with your mom to get some breakfast for us, do you wanna go?" Will asked. He had already been up for awhile. I felt him get up from the couch about an hour and a half earlier. I was awake, but my eyes were closed and I wasn't talking. 

I slowly opened my eyes and stretched. 

"Nah, I'm gonna stay here just in case Val wakes up." I kissed him once I had finished stretching. "You guys go ahead though."

He kissed my forehead and him and mom walked out of the suite. Now, I'm alone. Why did I do this to myself? Everyone knows I do bad things when I'm alone. But I guess there are doctors here who check on Val every hour, so I should be safe. Physically. Inside I've already killed myself. What's the point of living if everytime I begin to accept the fact that someone very special and close to me was taken? 

The doctor came in. 

"Hi, Ms. Johnson?" She knocked on the door, even though she had already entered the room. "Is your mom here?" She asked. 

Does it look like it? No, hoe. She isn't.

"No ma'am, she went out for breakfast." I gave a fake smile, "She should be back any minute though." 

She smiled and nodded. 

"Well, if you don't mind, I can tell you?" She looked at me with the curious look you give when asking something.

It didn't seem like bad news, so why not?

"Yeah, that's fine. Go ahead." I responded. 

"Well, Valorie's vitals have gotten increasingly better overnight." She smiled, "Which means Valorie should be awake any minute." 

Yeah, I learned to stop trusting doctors after that same sentence they said when my dad was in the hospital. 

Okay maybe I was being too "down" about everything and refusing anything that would make me happy, but it's really hard to trust something that has been said before and ended up not being true. 

"Oh, that's good." I looked around the room, avoiding eye contact. "Thank you." I slightly smiled.

As I ended my sentence, Will and mom walked back into the suite, carrying McDonalds. Hopefully they got me a sausage biscuit with a side of two hashbrowns and a mocha frappe. I didn't really prefer McDonald's over Taco Bell, but Taco Bell doesn't serve breakfast so it made sense. 

"Here, Rae." mom passed me over a bag full of food.

I looked inside and everything I had just listed was in there. They know me so well. This would up my mood some. I lived off this stuff when my mom was out of it for a week one time when I was child. Dad didn't cook.

"Thanks, mommy." I kissed her on the cheek and when to sit down at the table that was in the hospital suite. Will followed close behind with his bag of food. 

We ate in silence. Only exchanging a look to one and another a couple times. It was weird, we hadn't been like that since I first moved into his house for the summer. Not talking, just looking. Except we loathed eachother at the beginning of the summer. Now we're in love. 

"So, are we going to stay here all day?" Will asked, looking frustrated. 

"Yeah, I am." I said in a pissed off tone, "You can leave, though." I got up and walked off to the couch, put my hoodie on, and laid on the couch. I wanna be left alone anyways. 

I peeked through a hole in my hoodies hood and he was no longer in the room. Douchebag. I didn't mean that I actually wanted him to leave. It was a girl thing. You tell them to leave, but you hope they stay. 

Every girl says that. 

"Mom?" 

That wasn't me who said that.

"What happened?" 

Valories voice. No, it had to be my mind playing tricks on me. Kind of like when you're in the desert and you a mirage up above thinking it's water, but it's actually just a reflection of the sky? Or when you're trapped in the Amazon and you think you hear an airplane, but it's actually just you? 

Yeah, that is what had to be happening. 

I pulled my hood off my head. It was actually her. She had actually woken up.

"Oh my God, Valorie!" I jumped off the couch and ran to her bed and wrapped my arms around my mom who had already been hugging her. 

"Ow." She murmured. We didn't let go.  She was awake and that is all that matter. 

Too bad Will had to miss out on this. But I guess that is what you get when you're an ass. 

"Mom, Raleigh?" We heard her speak once again, this time letting go. 

"Yeah?" I had asked, knowing what she was about to ask.

She put her hand on her head and laid back.

"I didn't die?" 

Those words, at that exact moment, broke my heart right in two. She was committing suicide. Thank god she failed. 

"You didn't, Val." I had spoken up after a moment of silence, only the sound of moniters and mom's sniffles. "Why did you do it?" 

She began to cry. I know there had to be a very good reason for it. I mean, there is no good reason for suicide, but there had to be a very good cause for it. She wouldn't just leave mom and me like that without explaination first.

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Well hey. So, I lied. I didn't update everyday! Hm.. let's maybe try twice or three times a week? While school is still out, of course. Then when school starts, just once a week?

Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Sorry it's a little 'all over the place", but I was having a bit of a writers block. 

Please vote, read, comment, like, add to your reading lists and follow me! 

XOXO, 

Catherine