Red (The Hobbit Fan Fiction)

Epilogue

Epilogue

(Bilbo’s POV)

            A week was all that had passed since I had arrived back to Bag End. During that week, on top of rebuilding my home to something of what it once was after I found out my things were being auctioned because I was supposedly declared dead and surprising everyone by my reappearance, I had tried to convince myself that life would be normal for me again, that nothing had ever changed. Ha, as if I was capable of persuading myself that nothing had changed at all!

            My life was never going to be the same.

            To this day, even after a week, I still felt fatigued, plagued with a burden or two. I had yet to do a few important things. The longer I put them off, the heavier my guilt and heart became. I should have done what I should have last week, the moment I had come back to the Shire, but I didn’t, only because I knew it hadn’t been the right time. To top it off, I had had other things to deal with on the day I had returned home.

            For most Hobbits, today was like any other day to them. For me, it was another day of mourning, another day of important decision making. Should I give them what she wanted them to have? Should I put it off any longer? The longer they’re kept in the dark, the worse their grief will be, said my conscience.

            I sighed heavily. Today had to be the day. Not tomorrow, not next week nor next month, today. If I didn’t do it now, I probably never would, eventually forgetting, leaving them to eventually assume that she was gone and never coming back.

            Even though it had been almost a year since she was gone, I still wasn’t over her death. After all, who would be, when a person they cared deeply for died in their arms just as they were less than minutes away from being saved from death? I closed my eyes tightly, trying to erase all memory of that day. But it worked to no avail. Behind my closed eyes, I recollected all that happened on that day.

            We had just gotten out of a sticky situation involving Orcs and Wargs. If it hadn’t been for Eagles coming in to save us, we would have all ended up dead, I was sure. I remembered being by her side as we rode an Eagle, examining her wounds. I remembered seeing her face contorted in pain, hearing her whimpers, sobs, and choked breaths. I remembered how not only her life was on the line at that time, but Thorin Oakenshield’s as well.

            Every bit of the memory was burned into my mind forever, and I knew it would haunt me until the day I died. It would be just one of the many things that would.

            I was already dressed, mentally preparing myself for the grueling task I had to do today. I ate very little breakfast, as today I wasn’t feeling like myself. Well, I hadn’t really for a while. I ambled over to the desk where the objects lay, all that remained of her.

            A letter and a ring, the only tangible objects left to remember her by.

            My throat swelled in pain when glaring at the objects. I remembered her words as she handed me those things: They need something to remember me by. The ring goes to him, the letter goes to her. If I had had enough time, I could have written him one too. Delicately, I snatched the items and slipped them into one of my pockets. I blew out a somber breath.

            Today was going to be one of the hardest days in my life. This would probably be the second hardest, the first had been saying goodbye to her when I wasn’t ready to.