"What happened" he whispered "my dad" i mumbled "what" he asked "my dad" i spoke louder "what did he do if you don't mind me asking" he said "its kinda hard to explain it's personal and
i honestly really don't like talking about him or what he did but let's just say he broke me i'm damaged i live in fear because of him he physically, mentally and socially abused me since I was little my body was bruised and broken i am constantly ashamed of who I am my heart physically hurts I'm terrified of my father
I'm traumatized by him I constantly live in fear he left not only physical scars but an emotional scar of violence, isolation ,misery, and sorrow that will last forever I'm damaged I feel worthless and useless sometimes, I'm angry and at him for a lot of things I'm scared and i feel empty
I hate getting flashbacks from things I never wanted to remember being hurt by the person who you thought would never hurt you and was supposed to fix your broken heart catch you of you fall is the worst feeling in the world sometimes I feel like the only way to take the pain away is to die" i explained to him
I wiped my eyes then looked at him he was crying he wiped his tears and came closer to me I flinched "please i'm not gonna hurt you i promise you I will never hurt you or lay my hands on you" he said
he held his hand out i weakly grabbed it "look i'm not expecting you to jump on me right away and by jump on me i mean touch me, hug me, kiss me,date me, or fuck me i just want a chance to be your friend and then if you want to date me I'd be happy but you have to trust me or I can earn your trust " he comforted me
"I lost my trust in people a long time ago but I'll give you a chance but one chance only" i whispered I let go of his hand
We played Xbox for a while
1 week later I had my black leggings on and a black leather jacket with black sweater uggs (pic above #1)
Justin came to my locker after school "are you gonna talk to me in school ever" he asked "sorry I don't like talking to people" I confess
He grabbed my waist "let me go let me go" I screamed in fear he let go "look at me" he brought me chin up "what" I was scared I'm not him I'm not gonna hurt you" he whispered trying to comfort me
"Look I'm sorry but you have to understand I'm not gonna hurt you" he explained to me
I shut my locker "I'm not him" he whispered holding his hand out I shook my head no he put his hand down he sighed "do you want to come over" he asked me
"Sure" I whispered
At his house "this is my room" I was scared to come in "I told you I'm not gonna hurt you" he explained I slowly walked into his room
I took off my jacket "do you still cut" he asked "sometimes but no not daily" I told him "please stop" he said "why do you care?" I asked " I do actually yes I care" he confessed
1 month later
I stopped cutting justin and i have gotten extremely close i'm not scared of him any more today is Saturday night it's about 7 pm i peer threw my bedroom room window sitting in my Bay window looking at the beautiful breath taking view of the mountain top that leads to the hollywood sign and beautiful stars above it
that's where I live just below the Hollywood sign i was in my Puma Graphic Printed Leggings (pic above #2)
With the puma black and white sports bra i was sitting with my legs bent to my chest staring at the stars in the sky , just about to close my window i looked at the Hollywood sign a little longer i noticed a guy sitting at the top of the mountain next to the D in
