Dream On (Jonathan Toews)

Chapter Nine| Exposed

Mary Kate

I roll over in bed to stretch out my arms and legs under the covers. The clock read 6 am and that was my usual time to start getting things done. The first game was tomorrow and
Q was so kind to give an off day today but I don't like breaking my routine. I emerge from my room to see Jonathan in the living room simply reading a book. "Morning Jonathan" I say making my way to the kitchen to make coffee. "Morning MK" he says and I peek around the corner. That's the first time he's called me that. "Would you like a cup of coffee" I ask starting a pot. "Yes please" he replies and I start making our drinks.

I bring out our cups and join him on the couch. "Watcha reading" I singsong and he finds a place to stop. "Guerrilla Warfare" he says accepting his coffee. "I love that book" I mention and he raises a eyebrow at me. "You've read this" he asks with the book still in his hand. "Well yeah, I told you I had to reinvent myself. I was looking for a bunch of answers and I found a few in there" I say pointing to the book. "What did you learn about life in here" he wonders tapping the book. The book was about war tactics, not how to get through tough times. "Well it's about the fight within the fight. You're in one war while unconsciously fighting another. Nothing in life is handed to you, its earned through hard work. That's the big war, but inside that there are many other battles. Death, failure, all that stuff. The book tells of how to handle both fights at the same time. It teaches how to fight for the greater good to while keeping true to yourself. It's important to make a difference but while still being your own person. It talks about how to help people while helping yourself. Take the lockout for example. The book would suggest how to help someone win a revolution such as the one we were in. Given a cause, or common 'objective', we were able to fight the tyrant alongside each other while helping everyone along the way" I explain. "Wait, what page is that on" he asks skimming through the book and I shake my head. "Is not in the book. Anyone can read a book, few people can interpret it. When you're in a dark place and looking for something, some words just seem to jump out at you. I wanted answers and I got them" I shrug as he continues to study the book. "I still don't see it" he comments and I laugh. He was so goofy.

"So, I was thinking about taking you out on our first official date" Jon says as we sit on the couch watching ESPN peacefully. Pat was still asleep which is typical. "Is that so" I asks and he nods. "Dress nice and be ready by 7" he says and I nod. "I can do that" I smile and he kisses my cheek. "Ughhh I literally just got up and you guys are already being grossly adorable" Patrick wines going straight to the fridge. "Good morning to you too Patrick" I laugh as he sits next to me on the couch. "Morning Mary Kate" he says with a smile. We all sit there watching ESPNs coverage of the lockout when a picture of Jon and I at the meetings show up. I shrug it off because that's their jobs to report these things, but then a video clip of Jon and I messing around at the UC shows up and I freeze. I didn't know they were there and from the look on Jonathan's face he didn't either. "Hey... that looks like you" Patrick say pointing to the screen and I see myself stick handling and dangling around Jon, just messing around. "Holy shit... that is you. And you're really good" he says as I sit still. No one beside Jon was supposed to see that. That part of me was supposed to be left in the past. "I need to go" I say abruptly and head to the patio for fresh air.

I stand out in the freezing cold as snow lightly falls across the city. This view is by far my favorite thing in the world. I was from Wisconsin so the cold didn't bother me, what I just saw on tv. Yeah, that bothered me. I hear the door open and tried to prepare myself for what was coming. "What just happened" Jon asks wrapping a blanket around me. "I'm not supposed to be on the ice again. Im not supposed to be here" I say quietly letting my head hang low. I hated myself for getting back on the ice, I hated how great I felt, I hated that it was probably the best I've felt since before the accident. "You are supposed to be here, helping so many people like you do. Your parents would be so proud, your sister would look up to you. Don't think for a second you don't belong here, because you do" he says rubbing my arms. "Then why do I feel so guilty that I'm the one that made it. Why do I get to chase my dreams but feel like I shouldn't because my family can't" I ask with tears in my eyes. "Because what happened to you was a really terrible thing that no one should ever have to go through. But you're fighting so hard to do something right, and you are. Never stop fighting" he tells me and I nod. "Do you really think you shouldn't be playing hockey" he ask and I shrug. "Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't want to play hockey" he says and I stare into those deep doe eyes. "I can't" I admit and he nods. "Does your back hurt" he asks and I shake my head. My back hasn't felt this good in a long time. "Then what's stopping you" he asks as I let out a sigh. "I'm scared. One wrong move and I'm done for. The doctors told me one small accident and I won't walk ever again. And I'm not half as good as I wish I was. I've missed out on so much laying on that hospital bed. When people see that I'm back they're going to expect the great Mary Kate Fletcher that I once was, but that girl is long gone. I just don't think I deserve to play such a sport" I explain. "But you do. You hadn't touched ice in years and beat me at pretty much everything without even trying. You're gifted and I think it's a bigger let down if you don't play than if you do" he says cupping my face. "You're right" I say and he cracks a smile. "So you'll play again" he asks. "I'll see what I can do".

"Please let me come to date night" Patrick begs me as I start to get ready. "Why do you want to hang out with us if we're sooooo gross" I say over dramatically. "Jonny's like a brother and you're like a fourth sister, I like hanging out with you guys. Plus you're like the only girl who puts me in my place" he laughs. "While all of that is true, this is our first actual date and hearing you two bicker for hours doesn't sound like something I want to do" I laugh. "Fine, can I at least hang with you until you have to go" he asks putting his lower lip out. I let out a over dramatic sigh and he grows a smile. He wears me down and I tell him everything about my breakdown earlier, from the accident to my time playing hockey and he listens closely. He helps me get ready for tonight along with giving some fun tidbits about my date. Things I'm sure Jonny would kill Patrick for if he knew he was telling me but it didn't phase me, nothing ever did.