Dream On (Jonathan Toews)

Chapter Forty-Five| Backyard Ice Rink

Jonathan

The season goes by and the team looks good. Nothing jumping out too much. We're just quietly collecting points and we are happy to play another day. As we get closer to the holidays I keep a eye out on Mary Kate, after last year I didn't really want her to try to hurt herself again. I notice she gets quieter and I try to joke but I can tell her laughs are forced. I decide to do something dramatic and hope it would work. "Hey mom, can Mary Kate and I come up for Christmas" I ask over the phone. "Of course, we can even do some wedding planning if she wants" she says. "She would love that, just make sure not to bring up her family too much okay. This time of the year is hard on her" I remind her. "Of course, we'll do our best to take her mind off of things" my mom assures me. I hang up and go in search of Mary Kate.

I find her knocked out on the couch with a cookie in her hand and made sure to take a bunch of pictures before waking her. "Hey baby, wake up" I say rubbing her arm before she stirs and her eyes flutter open. Once they meet mine she smiles and I feel my heart race, I love when she did that to me. She sits up and wraps me in a tight hug, I hesitate at first but hug back eventually. "What's wrong" I wonder as she lets me go. "Nothing wrong. I just really missed you" she says. Cute. "So I was thinking, how about we go to my parents for Christmas" I ask. Her smile grows bigger and scoots closer to me. "I think that would be fun" she says lacing her fingers through mine and rests her head on my shoulder. "Are you sure you're okay" I ask again. I know this isn't exactly going to be easy, I was just hoping she didn't self destruct. "Yes Jon" she says softly and I decide to let it go before I made her upset.

We arrive at my parents three days before Christmas and I still keep a close eye on Mary Kate. The 23rd was tomorrow and I wanted to make sure she didn't do what she did last year. After we get settled my dad comes up to our room. "You know, I got the rink out back tended to this year. You guys should be the first out there" he tells us. Without word Mary Kate springs up and grabs her skates. "Thanks dad, you're the best" I say and he gives me a wink.

It was freezing outside, but neither of us minded any. There were nets and sticks and pucks out ready for us already. She picks up a stick and stick handles for a while, easily gliding across the ice. It looked like art the way she moved. We play one on one for a while and loved every second of it. She didn't look worried or upset or anything like that. She was so happy and that made me happy. "This rink is awesome, I see why you spent so much time out here" she says before calling out a spot in the net and nailing it. "I have some really good memories out here, and now I'm getting some more" I say nudging her. "You know, you don't have to act like you're walking on glass around me. I promise I'm not going to do what I did last year. I'm better now and you're a big part of that" she tells me and I let out a sigh. "I know you are, I'm just scared. Thats all" I admit. "I get that. But I promise I won't go crazy this year" she replies and I nod.

The next morning I wake up in bed and Mary Kate wasn't there. I check the bathroom and she wasn't there either. Her phone still sat on the bed and I started to panic. I go to the window and see a figure standing out on the ice. I throw on a bunch of cloths and go out there to see who was in the backyard. Usually everyone in the neighborhood would come skate out here but it was too early for that. "Excuse me but the ice time hasn't started yet" I tell them. They finally turn around and I see Mary Kate standing there all bundled up. I didn't even recognize her with all those layers on. "Oh my god I've been looking everywhere for you" I say walking over to here. "Here I am" she says causing me to laugh. She looked fine to me. "Why are you out here" I wonder. "I was thinking. This is a nice place to think" she says. "Thinking about what" I wonder. "My upbringing. How my dad did everything in his power to instill the little things in my head so I wouldn't have to think twice about them when I got older. But those little things are the only things I think about now because they're all I have left of my family. Like this rink. My dad made one much like it. It was obvious my sister wasn't going to play hockey, but she was my biggest fan through and through. She would come out here and let me takes shots on her or would give me passes. She never complained once because it just meant she got to hang out with me. I loved her to death. Then we would go inside and my mom would have hot cocoa made for us. She always made it best, a lot of chocolate and marshmallows. I would go into the basement and my dad would have a stick handling obstacle course set up and he would race me. He let me win but I still enjoyed it. Then at the end of the night we would all sit on the couch and watch Christmas movies, we all got to pick one and mine was always Rudolph because I connect to him. The whole outcast until you go to know him situation. Memories like that are things I wouldn't think twice about back then but it's all I think about now. And as much as I miss doing that, I have a new backyard ice rink and new people to make memories with. I think it's time for me to move on" she says looking at me with those round piercing blue eyes. "You will always cherish those memories because that's who you are. But as long as they don't stop you from making new ones I don't see anything wrong with reminiscing" I tell her. "I'm ready" she says and I smile. My parents come out with sticks and we play two one two with Mary Kate and my dad on one team and me and my mom on another. "GOAL" my dad yells as Mary Kate dangles around me before toe dragging then shooting a wrister top shelf. My dad lifts her on his shoulder as she raises her hands above her in triumph and I knew then that she was making new memories, just as she wanted.

Christmas comes and we all have a great time together. My mom brings out gifts and hands them out to everyone. She got her a new scarf and Toews team Canada jersey just for laughs. She loved it anyway and wore it all through Christmas. The last thing she had was a new locket. This one was a picture of all of us on the ice after the Stanley cup in 2013 in it and family inscribed on the other side. She kept her promise and never took off the other locket, even when she played. But I can tell this one meant a lot more to her. "This means so much to me, I don't know what to say" she whispers. "Do you want me to put it on" my mom asks and she nods. After she gets it on she wraps her hand around it. "I love it, thank you" she says and my mom pulls her into a hug. I was really proud of Mary Kate, she was still fighting and she was finally winning.