Recovery (Conor Maynard AU)

Chapter Twenty-one|Overhearing

(Edited ! Feel free to read) ~Song of the chapter "See You Around" by Shane Harper

The whole night I tossed and turned. I couldn't help but play the scene of my first kiss over and over again in my head. It was too short to be even considered a first kiss and hell was it under bad circumstances, but yet it was Conor, who had stolen my first kiss and though I was very mad at him for doing so, I was also kind of glad that it was him.

The warmth of his lips wouldn't leave my mind and the sweet aftertaste lingered like a bitter memory.

I still wondered why he had done that. Did he feel that guilty that he thought if he kissed me I would forgive him ? Or was he not thinking as he acted on repulse ? What had driven him to just bluntly kiss me in the middle of the street I had grown up in ? So many people could have seen us; heck they maybe even did. And then again, why would a boy, who clearly feared his girlfriend, risk getting his ass whipped by pulling such a move ?

It didn't make sense. Nothing made sense. Not the way he acted and neither why he had the nerve to be jealous.

Talking about jealousy; Colin had replied to my message with a simple one word answer "ok". Of course, I knew that "ok" did not mean that he was ok with it. When I got back home from the graveyard, I contemplated whether to call him or not, but in the end I decided against it because I felt like I was bound to mess it up anyway. I would rather talk to him at school face to face. Phone calls made me nervous because I couldn't see the person's facial expression and therefore I didn't know if I said too much or not enough.

When I woke up from my two hour slumber, the fact that this had been my second sleepless night in a row hit me like a brick in the face. My limps felt heavier than ever felt and they also dully ached - I was exhausted. Quickly pulling on some random dark jeans and a simple black hoodie, I left the house without having a second glance at myself in the mirror. Seeing my pale face once in the morning was enough. I didn't think I would have handled a second time. No make-up in the world could have hidden the truth. I looked like a freaking zombie, roaming the corridors of our school. The nasty glances that were being thrown at me were for once acceptable. I would have wondered how a girl, who looked decent a day ago, could turn into a monster overnight. If they only knew, I thought to myself as I searched for Colin. It was near impossible to find him in such short time before the first period began, but nonetheless did I want to try my luck. I was feeling very bad about dumping him, even though it was practically not even my fault. A certain asshole had decided it would be a fun time to kidnap me and brainwash me. But hey congratulations to the asshole, his mission was a whole success. He had managed to leave me even more confused than before.

As assumed I didn't find Colin, which frustrated me to say the least. I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything if I didn't at least solve one of my too many problems. They were right when they said that guilt eats you alive, it really does.

Checking on the cafeteria one last time, I gave up. Turning back around, I heaved a sigh, rubbing my tired eyes. God, I was so tired. I needed to take a four-hour nap to come to my senses, but since that wasn't an option at the moment, I took out my water bottle and drank some water in hope it would somehow be of help. Doctors always preach about how important it is to drink water and that it solves all of your problems, why wasn't it working with me ?

Deciding to ditch first period since it was no use because of my none existent concentration, I continued my way down the corridor. Without a concrete place I wanted to go, I roamed the now empty hallways of our school. Only a couple students were still rushing to their classes, apart from that it was only me. Turning right on the next corner, I walked past closed classroom doors. It was peacefully silent, making it easier for me to drift off. I was lost in my own thoughts when two familiar voices entered my ears, making me halt immediately.