Nameless ( A Court of Mist and Fury and Throne of Glass Crossover)

No Life to Live

"Oops."

 "I missed."

Not true actually, Aelin's steak knife had hint exactly where she wanted it to, the very center of the canvas that hung above Tamlin's head. 

Aelin watched with fascination as Tamlin's face turned from entitled, to startled, to furious. His  hands that dug into the elaborate table cloth covering the dining room table, began to morph into something else, it looked like when Lysandra would change forms, but much slower. She peered at them, intrigued but concerned as sharp claws began to form, dark fur creeping up his wrists, his face twisted into pure rage. And though she was in her human body she could swear she scented the aggression radiating from him when he rose from his chair. Ianthe, desperate to keep the meal civil, jumped from her seat, putting a soothing hand on Tamlin's shoulder.

"The girl is very fragile and has been through much, please Highlord have mercy on her." She begged for Aelin.

But Aelin didn't want mercy, mercy always had a price. She wanted to fight, she wanted to scorch, burn, and disintegrate him, she wanted the familiar feeling of warm blood coating her hands, she wanted that weight on her soul when she stole a life, the weight that kept her grounded. More than any of that Aelin wanted to prove- to create the illusion that she was in charge of her fate, even if she wasn't- and never had been. Even if her fate had been assigned to her hundreds of years before her birth, even if her life had never been hers to live.

Unfortunately for her, after a few more pleading words from Ianthe, Tamlin's hands began to uncurl, the hair giving way to skin, the claws shrinking. His snarl dissolved into a firm line.

"I will give you mercy this one time, make sure I don't regret it." he said his voice still brimming with aggression.

Before Aelin could damn herself Ianthe cut in, "Thank you Highlord, you are very generous."

She let out a small snarl, the only objection she would show before slouching back into the chair. If he wanted to fight, Aelin would fight- this ignorant asshole had underestimated her, her whole gender and race, and she was itching to show him who was boss. Magic or no. 

She crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows as Tamlin lowered himself down into his chair.

"If you deny me the respect I deserve, I will show you just how vile the fae can be." he sneered, and even from across the table she felt the warmth of his breath caress her face and smelt its stench. 

Aelin felt the shadows in her eyes take over as they darken at the memories that stirred up, "Trust me, I know perfectly well how vile fae can be." she spoke slowly, her eyes boring into his soul. And for that moment she let those memories, the darkness, swallow her- wearing them like armor and wielding them as weapons. 

They were all staring at her, before Ianthe, still frantic to maintain the illusion of friendliness and control, said to Tamlin, tearing her eyes from Aelin, "There was a letter from the autumn court.."

That was all it took for Lucien to hastily look away, and after a long hard stare for Tamlin to turn to Ianthe and Lucien. Feyre, however, tried to meet Aelin's eyes, her lips pursed together, and even long after she had abandoned that attempt her eyes flickered up in concerned glances.

Soon they all became consumed by their land's politics and after Aelin finally slammed the lid close on those memories, she slithered from her chair out of the door, the only one who looked up was Feyre as she clicked the door shut behind her. 

-

Aelin sighed and allowed her shoulders to slump, she glanced around the entry room adorned by two elaborately carved doors and a throne that towered over her. Aelin took a step forward to examine the throne, painted in gold there were delicate sculptures of flowers that were adorned with jewels. So unnecessary and wasteful, she was a woman of expensive taste and could appreciate beauty, although recently the frilly dresses and shiny jewelry hadn't been giving her as much joy as usual, it just seemed so pointless now. Everything did.

She peered closer at the throne, comparing it to Terrasen's. Aelin wasn't even sure if the throne she remembered from her childhood was still intact. It had been carved from a massive oak, it was simple, but strong and beautiful. She decided she would never sit in a throne like this, it would be sickening to rub all those gold and gems in the face of her people who had suffered so much, and for so long had had nothing. She needed to get back, to her world, her people, her court. 

With a burst of determination Aelin abandoned her original plan to find a place to train and headed to the library. Where she paced for hours staring at the wyrd marks she had written, they were the border for the portal she had escaped with- and to Aelin's understanding all portals, the key to the destination of the portals was the extremely complicate mark in the middle.

After Dorian had killed his father, Aelin had been able to get some books on wyrd marks and she had memorized the border for a basic portal. Simply because that fear that was always in the back in her head, that she would once again be trapped in the dark. And she had been, and she had saved herself- well... sort of.

Aelin had gotten to this world purely by chance, stupidly, she hadn't memorized any of the destination wyrd marks, so she had tried to copy one that she vaguely remembered, possibly combining multiple. It had been incredibly stupid and reckless, she could have ended up dead, or stuck in some weird dimension- but she had been near the breaking point, one more second in that hell and she would have given in, would have bonded herself to that bitch.  And she'd rather die than that, she'd rather die than face her court like that. Aelin had no idea how she had made it safely here, the gods must have guided her, now they just had to get her back so she could die for them to solve the wrong she hadn't caused. In the end it didn't matter, it never had, she never even had a life to live. But at least they had been kind enough to give her time, so she could feebly grasp everything she had ever wanted just to have it viciously torn away.

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I'm sorry this took so long, I'm just having a hard time finding where I want this story to go, so if you have suggestions, please tell! Also there appeared to be an issue with my last chapter that people didn't get the notification... so yeah. Idk what to do about that...