Will you save me? {Justin Bieber Fan-Fiction}

The Turning Point

I can't believe what he just said, did he really just say that he's in love with me. I never thought that any boy or girl would ever be capable to be in love with me, cause who would love a girl with scars. Wait. He doesn't know about the self harming so maybe he wouldn't love me if he knew. Should I tell him? Should I risk losing him, should I really risk it? He's been so open with me so it would be unfair if I wasn't with him. I just can't lie to him, it's no problem for me lying to my parents but with him it's different, I feel like I finally found someone who I can trust.

"There's one thing you don't know about me yet, I'm not sure if you still like me after you know that." I was shaking while saying that and I bet he noticed. "You can tell me anything, nothing could make me love you less." I stare at him for a good minute and then finally decide to tell him, my voice still shaking. "I-I hurt myself a-and my body is full of scars." He didn't even looked shocked, he just looked sad. "Look, I love you with all your issues and problems and I promise I'm going to try my best to help you solve them. I know together we're strong enough to make it through, I love you." I'm relieved that he didn't freak out like my parents did when they found out. But I wasn't even sure if I really wanted to get better, I still think that I deserve every scar and cut. I still think that I deserve all the pain I'm feeling, I still think I don't deserve to be happy. But I can't tell him that so I just tell him what he wants to hear. 

"Maybe we can fight my demons together who knows, I love you too." He looked at me as he knew I was lying to him. "You don't sound like you really meant that, don't you want to get better?" How does he do that? How can he see trough my eyes like that. How does he know everything I think, it's really starting to scare me. I notice that it doesn't matter if I lie to him, he's going to find out anyway so I'm finally honest with him.

"The truth is, I feel like I deserve all of this. I feel like I deserve every scar I cut into my skin and I seriously don't believe that I deserve to be happy. You know how they always say everything happens for a reason, I don't think there's a reason why all of this is happening. I just think I deserve all of this pain." This time he actually looked pretty shocked, I think he didn't expect me to be this honest with him.

"You don't deserve any of this, you don't deserve the pain and I hope you could realize that happiness is the only thing you deserve." I didn't really know what to say back since I didn't really believe what he said. I just looked at him until he continued talking. "Come with me." "Where?" "To my place, I've got a little surprise for you." Before I could answer he takes my hand and leads me to his house, it's only five minutes away from here. I wonder what his surprise is, I mean he only know me from a day so why should it be at home. I start to wonder if he already knows me longer, maybe from my old school but no matter how much I try to recognize him, I just can't. "What's the surprise?" "I'm not telling you!" I decided to let it go and not ask it again since I don't think he's going to tell me. Two minutes later we arrive at his house, we walk straight up into his room. He picks up his guitar and starts singing.

"This song is dedicated to you, Hannah."

This world, this world is cold

But you don't, you don't have to go

You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely

And no one seems to care

Your mother's gone and your father hits you

This pain you cannot bear

But we all bleed the same way as you do

And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on, if you feel like letting go

Hold on, it gets better than you know

Your days, you say they're way too long

And your nights, you can't sleep at all

And you're not sure what you're waiting for

But you don't want to know more

You're not sure what you're looking for

But you don't want to know more

But we all bleed the same way as you do

And we all have the same things to go through

Hold on, if you feel like letting go

Hold on, it gets better than you know

Don't stop looking, you're one step closer

Don't stop searching, it's not over

I recognize the song, it's hold on by Good Charlotte. Nobody ever did something beautiful like that to me ever before and after all these years I finally feel a little bit of hope. I'm not really capable of replying anything back to something like that. I notice that I start crying and just a second later I'm in Justin's arms. "Thank you Justin. It means the whole world to me that someone cares so much just like you do, you gave me a little bit of hope. You're the first person ever that gave me the feeling of actually mattering. I love you." And I actually wasn't lying this time. We talked for about an hour and then I had to go back home, I'm sure my mother is worried already. Justin gives me his phone number and tells me to call him anytime when something's wrong.

As I walk home I let his words slip trough my mind. Maybe I do desreve happiness, maybe I don't deserve what I'm doing to myself, maybe just maybe everything is happining for a reason. For the first time in my life I believe in myself, I know I can get trough this shit with Justin's help. I'm better than all of my issues and I'm better than this fucking knife. I can do it. Yes, I can do it. I'm stronger than this fucking voices in my head. I can overcome my issues.

As I arrive home I go straight up into my room, I look if my mom's around but I see a note in the kitchen. "I'm at the supermarket see you later!" Thanks god. I go back to my room. I pick up my box with all my razors, take them out and walk to the bathroom. "Goodbye razors!" I flush them down the toilet. I can't believe it but I'm actually not sad that I just lost the only thing that took away the pain, I'm relieved. As I turn around I see my mother standing right behind me and staring at me with a really empty look, like she's about to cry.