sail away

xxxii

you often ask me what happened

while you were away.

it's been years and years

and i still haven't told you.

i'm not too sure why i haven't

or why i have decided to now.

it just feels right.

you're sitting in your study

and i'm out on the porch,

and your brother won't be here

for an hour or so.

so i've taken this time to put together

all my thoughts and notes

and sketches from

your time away you so often wonder about.

and i'll leave it for you somehow.

maybe a message in a bottle,

like you did for me.

i'm not sure how you'll feel when you read it

but i do know that i must tell you

something very important first.

although the time

was long

and hard

and painful

and i lost sight of you along the way,

it was always you.

i had wondered if what i wanted

was what i needed.

and now i know it was.

because although it was a new start

that i thought fit both of those places

it was always you

and i'm sorry that

for even one second

i stopped chasing

those boats and fantasies.

THE END