Jerrie // Say You Won't Let Go [Book 2]

5 | "I want to, though."

ONE WEEK LATER

Everything was still the same. Jade was still in coma, Perrie was still crying herself every night to sleep and the media kept talking about the news. No one dared to ask Perrie how she was doing on Saturday and Sunday. Andrea sang beautifully, but Perrie couldn't really concentrate and people noticed, but no one dared to ask about Jade. I wouldn't either. In the end, Leigh's only group had to go and it was only two of Simon's boys and Andrea. Next week would be the finale and Perrie had no idea what to do. She wanted to experience that with Jade by her side. But it didn't look good. Her condition was still the same, - very bad, - and Perrie was sure she'd have to say goodbye. But she wasn't sure how or when.

It was also one week after the little scenario that happened in Little Mix's interview and Perrie hasn't said anything about it yet. She didn't know what to say. The blonde couldn't lie to her fans and tell them it was a 'one time thing', because Perrie knew.. As long as it was about Jade, she'd always react the same. She didn't mean to freak out, but the moment the interviewer mentioned Jade, it was like her head just turned off.

At the moment, Perrie was at home, laying in her bed while reading a book. Perrie knew that if she really needed to say goodbye, she'd need to learn to live without Jade, - even if it was impossible. The book Perrie was reading was a present from Jade. She was supposed to get it on Christmas, but Jade couldn't wait so she gave it to her earlier. Perrie liked the book, not only because Jade gave it to her, but because it was really good. It was a sweet story between two young people who fell in love.

Perrie's gaze swung over to the side next to her. It was weird not sharing the bed with Jade. Perrie felt cold and alone. The blonde took a deep breath before looking into the book again. She didn't want to cry. But the moment she leafed to the next page, she furrowed her eyebrows. Someone underlined a certain dialog, - Was it Jade? That's at least what Perrie thought and the moment she read the dialog, she knew it was Jade.

That dialog.

That dialog brought back one certain memory.

It was the day Perrie and Jade met up for a coffee for the first time. It was a sunny day and really warm. They had a lot of fun. Perrie was happy, but she also still suffered from Zayn and her break-up back then. They talked about all kind of things until Jade suddenly said, "I like you." "I like you, too.", the blonde laughed, "But.. You don't know me."

"I want to, though.", the blonde whispered to herself and closed the book as one singel tear streamed down her face. Jade said exactly that back then and.. Perrie didn't know what to think. Jade bought that book on purpose. She wanted to give Perrie something meaningful.

The next thing Perrie knew was how she smashed the book against her wall and started to cry out loud. She's been strong for one week, but her inner pain grew with each day. 

"Just come back to me.", Perrie whispered to herself.

~

"We have to do something.", Leigh said and sat down on the chair in front of Jade. Zayn, Jesy and Leigh were there. "She's a wreck. I.. We don't know what to do anymore, Zayn. Jesy and I tried everything, but she doesn't want anyone near her. She pushes everyone away. Even Andrea told me Perrie's been acting weird."

"What do you expect?", Zayn suddenly snapped.

"What?"

"What do you expect? The love of her life might die and Perrie might never see her again or feel her love again. If this would be Perrie laying there, I would feel exactly the same, so don't act like it's not a big deal, 'cause it is! Y'all are saying how important Jade is to you and how much you don't want to lose her, but you seem to be pretty fine with it. Perrie is very vulnerable right now and if Jade will die, I'm not the only one who's going break down and freak out." Zayn's gaze swung over to his cousin. "She's my family, but she's Perrie's home."

And with that, he left the room.

"Leigh..", Jesy sighed. "He's right."

"I know.. It's just.. I thought when I act like I don't care, it wouldn't be this hard.", Leigh suddenly sobbed. Jesy hugged her tightly.

"Everything's going to be alright.", Jesy mumbled and rubbed Leigh's back softly.

~

It was 3am in the morning. Perrie was standing on her balcony and stared into the landscape. She couldn't sleep because each time she fell asleep, she could see Jade in her dreams. Perrie was drinking a tea and now and then a few tears streamed down her face. How was she supposed to live like this? The only thing she wanted to do right now, was to cuddle up to Jade and never let her go. She wanted to show everyone that she's hers. She wanted to grab her face and kiss her passionately. She just wanted Jade. While she was standing there and stared into the landscape, she realized that she needed to apologize to her fans. It might not make up for what happened, but she needed to be open and honest with them. They deserved an explanation. She wipped her tears away and took out her phone. The blonde went on Instagram and started to make a video.

"I know that.. Many of you are either mad, or worried about what happened last week. I can't explain why I did what I did. All I can say is that I'm sorry. - The last week has been heartbreaking and.." Perrie paused for a second because tears were about to fall from her eyes. "- And very, very exhausting. But I wanted to give you guys closure. You deserve an explanation, or apology, because you've been supporting us and J-Jade for such a long time. I don't know what we did to deserve you and you have know Idea how much we love you. We love you with all our heart. I can't tell you this was a one time thing, because if I did I'd be lying, but I know that it was unprofessional and I'll try not to do that anymore. Believe me when I say that.. If it wouldn't be Jade, I'd be able to keep it together. I love her, so much and.. The thought of losing her is driving me crazy. - All I wanted to say was: Thank you, I love you and I promise you that I'll try to be the Perrie you all know and love, for you." Perrie smiled slightly before stopping the video. 

"The last few weeks have been tough and so I just wanted to get some things out of my chest, I love you all and thank you so much for everything. - Perrie.", Perrie wrote in the caption before uploading it. 

It only took a few seconds for fans to like and comment on the video. Perrie scrolled through the comments and read a few of them, which was actually the first thing that made her smile for real for the first time in a few weeks.

"We love you Perrie! We hope Jade gets better!♥"

"EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! We love you, Pez!♥"

Suddenly, a familiar person commented on Perrie's video.

"@/zayn: Family is holding together! I love you, sister-in-law. I'm so proud of you and I bet my cousin would be proud of you, too. She loves you. Hold on to that. Never let that go."

A singel tear streamed down Perrie's face. A huge smile appeared on her face. Zayn just told everyone that Jade was his cousin and I think the reason why Perrie was so happy about it was, that even though he knew how much the media would talk about it, he did it anyway."

 "@/perrieeele: Thanks, brother-in-law ;) I love you, too. Thank you for being there for me!"

 "@/zayn: always."

~

A/N

I know this isn't really something, but I really wanted to uptade and trust me, I've got a few things in my mind that I want to put in here. But this story might only have 15 Chapter this time because if I want to do a third book, I need to do less chapters because I already got an idea for the third book. And since I already rushed things a little bit, I won't be able to write 20 Chapters.