I Won't Ever Let You Go

Chapter 7

3 months later
Breanna seems to be handling everything pretty well. With God she has stayed strong through all of this. Most of her hair is gone but she is still beautiful. She can't go to school because her immune system is too weak so she spends most of her time at home. We set her up to do online classes, so when she can return to school she won't be too far behind. I help her with those each night when I get home from work, I enjoy it because it means some extra father daughter time.
She hasn't been feeling any better here recently, and the chemo just seems to make her even more sick.
They ran several tests at her appointment last Thursday so right now we are at the follow up for that.

I went in with hope that she was in remission but when the doctor came in that hope was ripped out of me.
I looked over at Courtney, we were the only ones here since the kids went to spend the weekend with Jude at his college. She held my hand and scooted closer to me.
"I'm afraid we have some bad news, the cancer is spreading faster than the chemo can help. The only thing we can do is try a more powerful chemotherapy but the side effects are even more rough. Unfortunately there is only a 25% chance that will be effective in destroying the cancerous cells.
"And if it doesn't? How much time do we have?" I asked holding Courtney as she cried.
"I'd say a year at most. I'm so sorry Mr. And Mrs. Smallbone. I know this is hard, I've lost my son to this but there is still hope and if you want to make it through this that is what you have to focus on. I can give you up to a week to make your decision, just give me a call. I will give you some time but you are free to go after my nurse brings in some information packets for you."

When the kids finally got back home on Saturday they were all exhausted. It was 10 so we just decided to save the news for tomorrow.

The next morning after a lot of talking and discussing Breanna decided to try the new chemo.
I gave the doctor a call on Monday and we set up an appointment two days after Christmas so maybe Brea would feel well enough to celebrate on Christmas.
I'll have to give her several new medications until then because that is a week and a half away and the medicine will help prevent the cancer from spreading even more.
This journey we're on is tough and sometimes I think it would be easier to just give up and run and hide from all of the uncertainty. The grace of God is the only thing that has kept me from doing that this far. I just have to keep my eyes fixed on the promises God has given us, and I will survive.