The Apathetic

Chapter 5: A Friend Comes in Dire Need

February 14, 20xx
I feel empty. It is as if the hard work I have put into recognizing my feelings has gone to trash. Why? Why do I feel so down? I ruin my relationship with Levi. I don't want him to go. I want him to stay...by my side.

😐😭🙁

April, my birthday month, has never so lonely before. I expected that I would be with Levi, celebrating my birthday that is on the 12th.

It has been nearly 2 months since Valentine's Day. The school is buzzing about senior prom and graduation. Apparently, Levi could possibly win prom king. Delilah is also necking me in votes for prom queen. Although, I don't care about that. Something more devastating happened to me.

Levi has completely stopped talking to me. In the long two months, Levi has never given me eye contact, taking me anywhere, or come to eat with me at lunch at the bleachers. Even when I wanted to sit with him and his friends at lunch, he left the table and went to the library.

Now, here I am sitting on the football bleachers, eating lunch by myself like it was at the beginning of the school year. I found it funny that even though I wanted to be alone when I started attending Sparrowford High, now I find being alone to be hurtful.

I bite into my chicken caesar sandwich and think about the first day Levi had come to talk to me. When Levi pulled me back and told me he wanted to help me, show me the world.

A tear falls on the bread of the sandwich. I have been missing him so much.

"O...M...G!, Mackenzie, you're crying! I didn't think it was this serious!" A shrill voice came from the bottom of the bleachers.

I look up to see Amaya from my art class at the bottom waving frantically and rushing up to me.

Amaya Navarro is a very optimistic character at our school. As head cheerleader and Vice President of the student council, she is very busy but, always happy and smiling.

I won't lie that Amaya is a very pretty girl. The light blue eyes and her dark hair she has to make Amaya the ideal beauty at our school. Don't forget her cheerleader's figure.

Despite all the attention she gets from the opposite sex, she has her eyes on one person. Levi's childhood friend Julian.

Amaya rarely sits with me and Levi at lunchtime. She would rather hang out with Julian and Delilah than us. I wonder what brought her here today.

"I am so sorry Mackenzie. I knew that you and Levi had a little tiff but, I didn't think it will go on for this long. Then I see you crying here by yourself and I feel sorrier that I wasn't here for you. Then there is him get nervously closer to DeDe. He even agreed to go with her to prom. I only know Levi is noticing DeDe now because she happens to be available. He really doesn't like her like that." She rambles.

I sniffle a bit," It is fine. Amaya...really...I am perfectly fine."

"That is a lie, Mackenzie. Levi confessed to you right. I assume you rejected him and didn't mean to." Amaya says like she read my mind.

I sniffle a bit, "How did you know that?"

"Let's just say that I am very good at reading the situation." She winks at me.

That made me smile a bit. Seeing someone who cares about me, come to comfort, and understands me. I never had a friend who was a girl before. Well, technically I had never had a friend before Levi.

"Tell you what. Write in your notebook about how you feel about Levi and I will identify it for you. I will be your Levi away from Levi. If that makes any sense."

"You don't have to Amaya. Levi is as good as gone. What can I do to fix what I have broken? He hates me now."

Amaya pressed her lips together," Yeah, ok...I will believe Levi hates you when I grow wings. And as much I want that to happen, it will never happen so....," she takes up my journal that I happen to leave beside me and pushes it in my chest," Write."

I held the book gently in my hands and stared at it for a bit. If I only had my journal with me that night, Levi will still be with me now. It is not like I hate Amaya or anything, however, I miss Levi...dearly.

I took a pen from my pencil case and started writing:

Right now...I miss Levi. It has been 2 months since we last spoke and every day has been agony. Levi is important to me. I owe him everything. He showed me the world and gave me his kindness. I smile when I am with him. Most importantly he helped me find my feelings. I never want to leave his side. I want to walk the rest of my life with him. Share our worlds together.

I gave back the journal to Amaya and she read it over. I couldn't help notice how she looked it over like how Levi did.

She also scribbled something in it and handed it back to me like Levi did.

It reads, " Madly in Love" in very pretty handwriting.

"I am in.....love?" I murmur.

"Yes, you are my friend. Welcome to the Love Club." Amaya smiles and pats my back.

"You're in the Love Club?"

"Duh. Take a wild guess."

"Julian?"

"Yup! You are really smart."

I look back at the journal then at Amaya. She nods and gives me a warm smile.

I am in love. I love Levi.

I closed the journal and placed it in my book bag," What should I do that now I know I am in love?"

"What else? You confess of course. Tell him you love him back. At prom. That would be the best place. You could blow him away with your beautiful prom dress and mask." Amaya motions her hands to form a dress and points to her face to refer to a mask," The theme is Masquerade. I can totally see how romantic it will be when he finds his lover behind a mask."

"And what if he rejects me," I say. The thought almost scares me. The fact that I can completely lose Levi. All because of my stupid apathy.

"Like I said, Mackenzie. The day he rejects you is when I grow wings."

" I thought that was for when he hates me?"

"Potato Potato. Same thing. Let's just get Levi, back. Right now he is going to break my best friend's heart so we need to get him to the right person. And quickly." She winks.