My mother is a comedian. Not like on television or anything but she has perfect comedic timing. And it's natural. I have always tried to mimic her, but I can never seem to duplicate how she can possibly be an elegantly polite ass-hole. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying, she's not an "ass-hole" she's just extremely honest, all the time; never afraid to speak her mind. And to this day no one seems to notice but my immediate family. I guess it takes a different pitch or tone to be noticed, but her somewhat rude, yet witty and playful comments always come off as a joke; and the person receiving the bashing never realizes they are in fact laughing at themselves. That in itself is an art.
My father is a talker. He can talk circles around you until you can't remember who's idea it was to do the next big venture that you willingly yet unknowingly just signed up for. The "gift of gab" as they say, comes natural to him. He always knows how to make any stranger feel special. But to the tamed ear, it is easy to see through his jabber and find the flaws and imperfection that lie beneath the charismatic surface, but to a normal listener he knows it all, and it always seems to get him where he needs to go. He is usually the butt of most of my mom's remarks; and seeing as how he knows her so well he can smell the hint of "ass" coming his way as she says the slightest comment tearing another "hole" into his soul.
Many times I wonder if they realize how their interaction has affected me, or each other for that matter. Neither one of them know how to listen to the other, mainly because they are both subconsciously in agreement that the other treats everybody else better than them. But if they cleaned their lenses and opened their eyes, they would realize that everyone else is getting the false perception they put forward, but they are giving each other the truth. A truth that can't be covered with an eloquent smile, a witty remark or an awesome story. A truth so raw and so passionate that like frost bite it hurts their bare naked beings, but can't be found anywhere else. That's what I call true love. Being able to find the the slightest perfection hidden beneath the imperfection. Perfectly imperfect. I learned from this, without knowing, and like all of my observations it got burnt into my personality.
Recently I "prayed" or reconnected with {____} the entity so powerful, for a a long time, I rendered it nameless. I like to imagine it as my parents. All-knowing and understanding, yet compassionate enough to never judge me. Hurts when I hurt, cries when I cry and laughs when I do as well. This is energy I interact with. For a long time I forgot what it was like to even have {___} in my life. It became so unnecessary as I began to indulge in the eccentricities of life. Those things that seem so important they make you even deny {___}'s existence. These hints of glorious splendor are traps, however.
They are like Fire Flies. You see them, they shine, they present curiosity, anxiousness and admiration and then without warning or predictability, they vanish. Gone, into darkness, unseen unheard and barren. Missing almost. So what do we do then? We search...we get very interested. You would assume that once the splendor has vanished you would have lost interest in it, however it is the opposite. Your soul creates yearning to know more, to understand more....what was that? What is that? Why can't I see it anymore? Where did it go? And then.....there it is again! Jumping back into your existence like it never left. Glimmering and once again captivating your senses to focus in on it and forget about your parents...."what does this have to do with my parents? It's just a....wait what were we talking about again?"
Oh, now you've come back? How was the trip into the fireflies? We were talking about {GOD} or the power that be at mind. There's a wire, in our mind that is loose. It is connected so that when you really want it to work you have to bend the wire in a certain direction. It becomes a "choice" to stay connected. And then you're there.... You're back and you're certain that {GOD} exists.
