Love & Deceit

Chapter 4: Beneath the Surface

"..."

"Raven...?"

"How'd you get in here?"

"I have a spare key...remember?"

Oh...right.

"What do you want, Matt?"

"I want to talk."

"I...I have nothing to say to you Matt..."

"Please..." His eyes were pleading with mine.

I felt a pang of sadness hit my chest. It's not like he did this on purpose. I'm being unreasonable...but at the same time; James was his best friend...he may have died months ago, but that doesn't make it okay.

"...I'm just not ready to talk about it."

He looked at me with wide eyes.

"Do you...hate me?"

I looked at him and sighed heavily.

"I can never hate you Matt...I was just; taken by surprise."

"...That's understandable."

"I just need some time...okay?"

"For what it's worth...I'm sorry. Take as much time as you need."

He gave me a sad smile that broke my heart a little, before leaving my house. I collapsed onto the couch with a sigh, and dropped my head into my hands. Now I just feel bad. He can't help how he feels about me...granted he could have handled it in a smarter way...but I just... I liked things the way they were.

Minutes later Ash appeared in the room holding a bottle of expensive wine.

"Yo Ra-"

He cut himself off abruptly after noticing the expression painting my face.

"...What happened?" he asked, instantly on alert.

"...Matt was here."

"Goddammit! I leave you alone for 5 minutes."

I gave him a look that told him he wasn't exactly helping.

"Sorry...what did he say?"

I sighed and explained the entire conversation to him. His eyebrows furrowing further and further till I reached the end. He looked like he wanted to say something but didn't know if he should.

"Ash...just say it."

"What?"

"What you're thinking. I know that look."

He sighed heavily and regarded me gently.

"...Raven I think the reason this is killing you is because you may have feelings for Matt."

...He's joking right? I looked at him with a mix of utter disbelief and anger.

"That look." he said pointing at my face. "...THAT'S why I was reluctant about telling you."

"Do you even hear yourself Ashton?"

"...Say what you want, but deep down you know I'm right."

"So...what? You think that what I'm feeling is guilt disguised as anger?"

"Well...yeah."

"I...I refuse to believe that."

"Hey, I could be wrong. It's just something to think about..."