Autumn Frost

Chapter 21

5 years later
"MUMMY!!! MUMMEEEHHHHH!!!!"

I sighed and stopped what I was doing in the kitchen. "Yes, Isaac darling?"

"I CANNOT FIND JOJO!"

I walked to my son's bedroom and found him teary faced with pouted lips. I leaned on the door frame and tilted my head. "Well did you check outside?"

"I DID!"

"The attic?"

"I DID!"

"Hmm...how about under your bed?"

"I DID! Wait, neow I didn't. " My little four year old son crouched down and he gave me a toothy grin. "Found him!"

Isaac crawled underneath the bed and pulled his teddy bear out with him, flashing me one of those cute kiddy smiles.

"Thank you mummy." he said sweetly as he ran to me and gave me a hug.

"You're welcomed darling. " I kissed him on the head as I carried him to the living room. "Uncle Jeremy will be home soon."

He nodded and turned his attention back to his stuff toy. I shook my head lovingly as I got back to work.

Isaac, the child I had four years ago when I only slept with Grayson once.

He reminds me so much of him.

Sure, some nights I'll stay up and think about the things we'd done together, sometimes even pulling out my phone to look at the pictures we've taken together, but I gave up being useless. I'll cry myself to sleep, bury myself in those memories  that haunt me; I'll cuddle with Isaac and watch him sleep like how I like to watch Grayson sleep; I'll take pictures with my son and print them out and frame them.

Isaac would sometimes ask me where's his daddy. I can't bring myself to tell him what he deserves to know, so instead I'll tell him that he's daddy is working at somewhere far away so that he could come back with enough money for the three of us.

Children are so gullible.
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"Mummy can we watch Mulan?" Isaac lay on me as he made his request.

Jeremy called and said that he would be coming home late from work. There's quite a number of patients so he had to work extra.

Normally Jeremy would guide Isaac through his homework after we had dinner. And let's say like how normal kids would, Isaac didn't enjoy doing his homework.

I would only check if he finished his homework properly, whereas Jeremy would make sure he did extra activities.

And if Jeremy is coming home late, it means Isaac and I had plenty of time to do anything.

Apparently tonight is one of our movie nights.

"But we already watched that last week. " I reminded him.

"I still wanna watch...pwease mummy?" he blinked his eyes and gave me that adorable look he knew I can't resist.

Giving him a smooch on the cheek, I agreed and watched Mulan on Netflix.

Mulan was my favorite Disney princess too.

My mind flew back to when Grayson and I would have our movie night. We would eat a whole jar of nutella, and in the end I'd sure be the first to fall asleep after our fifth movie. He'd carry me all the way to our room and sleep together.

Those memories.

After I've lost him, I've gone through the stage of anger, denial, depression...

Now I'm past recovery and advancing towards hope. I hope I can find new love, that would treat me as his equal and love Isaac like he's his.

And I only hope.

Isaac's head slumped on my chest as a sign that he had fallen asleep. I tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and gaze at my lovely son.

Isaac is the splitting image of Grayson.

"I used to." Grayson's voice echoed through the room.

I shuddered in fear and hugged my son closer to me. Rocking myself gently I slowly chant myself to sleep.

"YOU KILLED IT. "

"YOU'RE AN EVIL BITCH. "

"HE USED TO LOVE YOU. "

I hugged Isaac even closer than before, hoping his warmth could calm me down. The thoughts came back once per week. Jeremy would find me stuttering to myself, hugging my body tightly as I rocked myself back and forth.

Jeremy had always fear I might get insane.

I'd once had a few sessions with my counselor, until she was convinced I was emotionally ready to go back to my normal daily life.

And for that I'm grateful for my sweet child who's the best thing that had ever happened in my life.

"Mummy...?" Isaac's soft voice brought me back to reality.

I stared down at my son. He raise his small hand and touched my cheek, and I didn't even know I was crying till then.

"Mummy don't cry. " he said as he wiped the tears off my face. "Tears are for the weak. "

I smiled at his statement.

Yes. Tears are for the weak.

"Alright. " I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand and hoisted him up playfully. He squealed in surprise and burst into giggles as I carried him to his bedroom.

And ironically, we fell asleep talking about school.

"I love you, Isaac. "

"I wove you tew mummy."

Author's note: Okay I know this chapter is super short but hey, I'll be updating more soon :D stay tuned!