They never noticed, but why now? I've been this way for more than 3 years and now they decide to see what I do to myself. They don't know everything, they only know that I hardly ever eat. So now they are practically forcing food down my throat. It's disgusting and makes me feel disgusted and nauseas. I can't keep food down, it has to leave my body somehow, if not naturally then forcefully... I am too obsessed with looking at myself in the mirror and seeing negative things, it's gotten so bad that it became a disorder. They aren't easy to recover from. You think it's easy to not eat for more than 3 years then one day be forced to eat everything and bam your cured, no it doesn't work that way. It takes time to get back to normal. They warned me about needles being in my arm and being hospitalized, that doesn't worry me. If I keep this up I could die in the next 10 years, I'll only be 23... I can't see my future, I have no idea what I'm doing with my life. Maybe it's because I have no future, or I'm too young to know what ahead of me. Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen to live. Why was I put here? To be tortured?
