I can't pretend my whole life, I can pretend to be okay. How do they not notice my change. How my checks have hollowed, my body thinner, my mood all depressing, my lack of life, I look dead and they still don't notice. Your child is slowly dying and you don't give a care to take notice? I will die sooner than everyone else... I have to stop lying to myself, I know I'm not medically obese but I think that I am. I ache everyday. Not just from the lack of nutrients but from the words I carve into my thighs. "Weirdo, useless, worthless, fat..." I promised my self back in October that this wouldn't happen again but sometime is can't help it. My scars burn at the feeling of my pants rubbing against the scabs. I struggle everyday with some kind of pain. People think I have it easy. Oh really? I blame myself everyday because I feel like I was an accident that shouldn't have been born, I'm just a waste of space that caused my parents to divorce. School would of been an escape away from them except for the fact that I was bullied. I'm always insulted by my family. My parents expect so much from me, but I always a disappointment to them. I can't cry in front of them because they will think I'm just being an "over dramatic teenage brat" I hate living life. I wish I could just leave. Because sure as hell no one would care if I left, maybe I will run away, away from the world.
