Don't Hate Me (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 16

Hey guys....sorry for a late update but thanks for the patience and the love......

Enjoy..!!😊

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Louis' P.O.V

 
  The whole day Liam tried to comfort me and make me happy but I just couldn't. I couldn't tell him what happened, I can't tell him what was about to happen. Everything was so hurting that I wasn't even aware of things that could make everything even more worse.

I knew Harry was not ready to come out yet. I knew he wont be able to have those things we do behind the closed doors out with me infront of all the people. And as I have seen he doesn't plan to do so anytime soon.

A part of me wanted to believe it that he was just not ready or he was afraid, something like that, but a part of me knew that he was just ashamed of me, that out of all the people he could love it had to me. I wasn't any special as they all were. Beauty and prestige within all of them which was total opposite what I was. Anything but beautiful, anything but prestigious. It was hard of me to believe anything that Harry complimented me behind the closed doors, when he insulted every part of me infront of our whole school.

When he said 'I love the blue in your eyes.' I never thought it would mean 'Just close your eyes forever, I don't want them looking at me.'

When he said 'You smile like sunshine.' I never thought it would mean 'Go open those slutty lips of yours to some gross men, you whore.'

When he said 'You light up my world like nobody else.' never thought it would mean 'Go die in dark so no one has to see your pathetic face.'

Or when he said ' I love you' never thought it would mean 'No one will ever love you.'

He was never affectionate with me in front of school. Affectionate will be a heavy word, I'd rather say, he was never a human with me in the school.

Bully me once. Love me the second.

He was total opposite of what he was alone with me. Sweet and caring one time and then ruthless and cruel the second we enter the presence of other people. I could never take that look of disgust on his face out of my mind when he looked at me in the school. Couldn't forget the harsh pull of his hand on my hair, his touches that weren't gentle in any way. The blowing kicks and punches never seem to end it for me. Like it wasn't hours ago when we had sex and cuddled the entire night. Acting like the big brave bully when he was simply a scared guy. Simple because he was he loved someone as no one as me and scared because.......he won't say that out loud.

He crushes my heart one day, the same he heals it saying he loves me. He has his different touches for me. Some of them say he is jealous. Some say he is annoyed, some say he was mad, and some expressed his love for me. The more he broke me outside the more healed I was when he wrapped his arms around me.

He refused to touch me in public romantically, hell he even refused to look at me that way. It was straight and clear ' You are nothing to me outside these walls.' Tough he never said it, it was pretty damn clear. So as torturous and cruel my public life was  I was some what happy to have someone to love and to have them love me back. All these years the people who I loved just left me away except for him. My Harry. You could never know how sweet and beautiful he was behind that angry bad boy he showed he was. No one could know the warmth in his gorgeous green eyes behind his cold hard glare. No one could ever know his love for me behind that painful humiliation of his.