Don't Hate Me (Larry Stylinson AU)

Chapter 21

Louis' P.O.V

I remember once feeling like being on the top of the world. Mom by my side, sisters to adore me, friends to support me, a life I once lived. But then I remember the life I lived being left out, being bullied, looked down at, hated by every person that was once my closest. I would never forget it. My mind just won't let me forget it because deep down I knew it was my fault after all. I was gay, I was a loser, I was so so pathetic. I am may be but things have changed.

In a good way I could say.

If a year ago someone would have said that you'd be away from your family on you're next birthday, they would be the ones throwing me out of their lives and I would be celebrating it with someone else, I would have laughed at their faces and screamed after.

But here I was, away from my family, the unforgettable images of my family and friends celebrating my birthday and all those times we spend together during Christmas playing in my head. All the cherishing laughter and their kisses running through my head like a chaotic mixture.

I missed them. Every second while I spend away from them I miss how much of a home it was. My Home.

I felt warm breath on my shoulder, his fingers drawing light patterns on my hip, I tried to recognize it but they were just random.

"Penny for your thoughs?" Harry asked pulling me closer, my back to his chest.

"Nothing interesting." I lied looking up at him.

"I know you have something on your mind and its bothering you. Its your birthday tomorrow Louis. I wanna make it the best night of your life and I want Christmas to just be the cherry on top." Harry said, smiling down at me, his eyes poured so much love. My body feeling so overwhelmed, I bought my hands to neck, feeling the warmth there bringing our faces closer.

"I love you so much Harry. Thank you for-for everything." I said honestly, resting my forehead against his.

"I love you too Lou." He said and leaned in, kissing me till I knew something for sure.

Home was really here. With him.

________

Something was bugging Harry.

I could see it the moment he entered in the room. He was ignoring my eyes, fingers twitching and a sheen of sweat on his forehead even though the temperature was freezing. He chose to close himself in the bathroom and not comeout even when I called this name.

Today we were suppose to go out for a date, it was my birthday. Harry said that he had planned everything but suddenly a call comes and he says its all canceled. I was upset for a second but then I heard his voice breaking and thats when I knew something had happened. He was home for a while now and hadn't uttered a single word.

Something was really wrong and it was causing Harry such distress, I couldn't just sit there and watch.

I stood up from the bed and placed my palm on the bathroom door, tapping it.

"Harry? Are you okay?" I asked.

There was a moment of silence making me wonder if he was really there inside.

"Y-Yeah, I'm fine. Just-uhh Just need a second." He answered in a shaky voice.

"You've been there for a while now love, I'm getting worried."

"I'll be out in a minute." He assured but I was still uncertain of it.

I stepped back after hearing a click of the lock and the door opened.

He was crying. His eyes puffy and nose red, I could see, his arms had deep marks of someone fingers, probably his own, I know they were there because he was trying to not cry loudly, I use to do the same. I rushed towards him, grabbing his face between my hands making him look at me in the eyes and not dodge my stare.

"Harry? What-What happen?" I asked.

My words seemed to break him down as he colapsed down on my chest and began sobbing. His tears staining my shirt but couldn't care less. I ran my fingers through his hair, I knew it comforted him. I moved us towards the bed, he laid on top of me, his head on my chest as I calmed him down. He had his eyes closed shut tightly as if he wanted to forget something. I kissed him on the top of his head which was rising and falling along with my chest.

He had gained his voice again as he spoke.

"My dad passed away." He whispered.

I stopped all my movements, my hand stilling in his hair as he burried his face deeper into my chest and let out a shuttering sigh.

"He took his own life Lou. Ha-Hanged himself to death. W-Why? Why would he-" A sob ripped from his throat as he cut himself off.

I knew what it felt like to loose a Father. My own passed away when I was six years old. Too young to know why my dad left me like this. Abruptly.

"Shhh....Calm down Love. You need to breath yeah? Breath with me."

We waited until Harry was calm again.

"Its all her fault." He spoke with spite in his voice.

"Who?"

"My mother." He looked up, his green eyes now paler and bloodshot. He took a gulp before speaking again.
"Its all her fault!! I was thirteen when she tricked him into insanity. My mom was having an affair with someone, my dad found out and was going to divorce her and break all the ties but her wicked games trapped him. My dad was a scientist, he created the products and machines which run my mothers company. At that time he was working on one of his projects, some kind of medical drink he was making but the night he found out about her, she drugged him and replaced his research papers. In the morning the police came searching and found out that he was making poisonous products. My mother reported him and they named him a mad scientist. He kept saying he knows nothing about it, he begged everyone to believe him but no one listened. My mother cried her crocodile tears and sent him away in an asylum. Its been years since he was there, I've seen him to go through so much Louis. From a well educated father to a completely insane man who doesn't remember me. And now he has become the mad man who took his own life. Its all my mother's fault Lou, She is a fucking murderer."

It was alot to take. I couldn't imagine how he must have been feeling when just hearing about it makes me cry. I wrapped my arms aroung him tightly.

"I miss him so much Louis. He left me,   with this unfair truth and a bitch of a mother and a sister who is following her foot steps, both who want nothing to do with me. Everybody has left, all alone. Feels pathetic Lou, I feel so so pathetic."

"No! Don't say that Harry, I'm here yeah? I'm here and will always be. I'll never leave you alone. Promise."

A boy merely thirteen living in a surrounding so toxic and growing in it. I understand now why Harry is the way he is. He never let himself feel weakness because he thinks he would end up going through all of the pain just like his weak thirteen year old self. His wicked yet strong mother rose above them all and let his kind yet weak father suffer. He thinks being kind is weak so he is this wicked bully. He doesn't want to live his fathers humiliation so he does it to others, he becomes the monster his mother is.

"I know you won't leave me Louis. I believe you." He says and rest his head back pulling me closer. "I'm sorry, this, everything messed up your birthday."

"Dont you dare be sorry for it. I understand Harry, I've lost my father too, and I know it hurts but you need to be strong yeah? You're my strong and brave Harry." I smiled at him and joint our foregeads together.

He hummed and closed his eyes shut.

"Louis?" He whispers.

"Yeah?"

"You'll be here when I wake up right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I can't go to his funeral alone. I need you to be with me throughout it, hold my hand so I don't b-break down."

"Whatever you need, I'll be there. I promise."

___________