Himitsu (Book One of the Kakureta Hana series)

XIV: Ju Yon

It takes us a week and a half to arrive in Nakakanai despite the fact that it should have merely taken us a week. We had made a slight detour for me to leave a package with some of Saiko and Emi's contacts, which ended up taking far longer than I had planned.

Because of this, I am grateful that I sent those of Shigeru's men who had been abandoned on the field of battle with us ahead to the Fujiokas. Least to say, seeing the ginkgo trees that marked the edge of Nakakanai fills me with relief.

Ryuu is silent beside me, the only noise coming from his direction that of his horse's hooves crunching the dry leaves. He has grown more withdrawn the closer we have drawn to our destination and his looks at me more contemplative.

A courtier is waiting for us once we arrive at the stables in Shogun Fujioka's fortress. He bows to both of us politely as we return the gesture. "Lord Amachi Junichi, Lord Igarashi Ryuu, the shogun bids you welcome. You are expected for the evening meal, but my lord asked that you be shown your rooms immediately to refresh yourselves after your long journey."

"We thank you," I say, a dark feeling coiling in my stomach at his words despite the pleasant tone they are spoken with. For the shogun not to wish to see us at the moment of our arrival bodes ill for us. Not to mention the fact that for the few minutes we have been standing here to gather our belongings, we have seen neither head nor tail of Lord Fujioka or Lady Fujioka Rika.

Our group of three makes its way through the simple but elegantly decorated hallways of the fortress. Flowers abound everywhere, little reminders of the late Lady Fujioka despite her being deceased for nearly a decade.

The further we walk, the tighter the darkness seems in my body. My lungs ache with the effort of drawing air from around the pain. If Ryuu notices my distress, he gives no sign of it.

"These are to be your rooms during your stay, my lords," the courtier informs us as he opens a door. Before our minds have finished processing his words, he bows to us once more and all but flees down the hallway.

My general's face darkens as he stares after him. "Lord Fujioka looks to insult us, Jun. For to place us in the same rooms seems to imply that he believes the rumors that have sprung up, those that we are lovers," he nearly snarls. "Pity he can't know the truth without more consequences arising for us."

I don't even try to defend myself, realizing that it is better for Ryuu to vent now rather than when we are called before the shogun. Besides, I cannot say that my own mind is not racing with the implications of our sleeping arrangements.

"I'll take the floor," I say at long last once his words have ceased to flow. "If there is no sign of us sharing the futon, they will not believe the rumors. It may yet allow us some chance."

Expecting Ryuu to ignore me yet follow my advice, I am surprised to feel his gaze upon me as I make a point to look anywhere but the space he is occupying.

"Jun," he whispers, voice strangely soft after the outburst, "I am sorry. My anger should not be pointed at you, yet you have bore the brunt of it since we returned from battle. In order to survive this, we must be a united front; I have only served to drive a wedge further between us."

I look towards him then, and his amber eyes are swirling with hundreds of thoughts. I can feel waves of remorse coming off of him, but I can also see he has no idea how to proceed in this newly-awkward relationship.

I swallow the words that threaten to choke me before forcing out, "I well deserve your anger, Ryuu, as I should have entrusted you with my secret long ago. I have continually lied to you about what I was, which may yet damage our relationship beyond all hope of repair. You may choose to leave the service of the Amachi clan after our business with the shogun has concluded."