Himitsu (Book One of the Kakureta Hana series)

VIII: Hachi

I look once more at Emi's letter, the enigma of its wording.  How close Tadashi had been to us all this time, yet how separated we had felt from him.

Jun seems to have been shattered to the point where she can hardly put herself back together.  Each night since the one in the garden, I fall asleep alone, only to wake with her in my arms.

Whatever she had told Shogun Fujioka a week ago convinced him to allow Rika to accompany us once more.  She refuses to write about that conversation as much as she refuses to tell us what truly happened with Hikaru.

Some portion of her voice has returned, but Jun speaks little unless she deems it necessary.  Rika and she spend far more time talking quietly than she does with me.  Yet it is my arms that she seeks when the terrors of the night drive her from sleep.

"'Two days' ride to the east,'" Rika says, startling me out of my musing.  "Emi shelters her secrets well, but sometimes it would be kinder for her to merely tell us everything we need to know."

I tuck the letter away and mount up, looking towards the lady.  "It is the way of all shinobi to keep secrets.  Their currency is secrets, blood, and death; therefore, it should come as no surprise that Emi does not tell us everything we wish to understand."

"I fear that she is even more cryptic than Saiko at times.  Why would she not tell us to begin with where he was, rather than give a message to one who is just as likely to keep it as to give it to us?  And why did she address it to you?  I am the one who is destined to marry him, not you," she demands.

"I know not the answers to any of the questions you have asked, Lady Fujioka, and I think it likely that I never shall," I answer before setting my mount into action.

Jun is waiting for us outside of Nakakanai, her eyes staring off towards the light of the rising sun.  Only when I came to a halt next to her does she direct her gaze towards us.  "This is the last time I shall ride somewhere as Lord Amachi Junichi."

I have enough time to catch the faint light glancing off the tears in her eyes before she turns away from us to point her horse east.  Rika exchanges a look with me as she goes to catch up to Jun, who is already riding off without us again.

Were those tears of relief for the end of her deception?  Were they tears of despair for the releasing of the person she had been for seventeen years?

Our ride that day is quiet, the sound of our voices piercing the air startling the other two.  Jun seems distant and withdrawn within herself.

Rika comes abreast to my horse and leans slightly towards me.  "Have you noticed how different Jun seems now? "

"Her world has unraveled itself," I answer quietly.  "This is the journey to let go of the only identity she has ever known to take up one that she is still uncertain about.  Whatever the shinobi did to her in the gardens did not help; I fear that her night terrors are getting worse with time."

"Perhaps we should have held off on this journey despite Jun's insistence.  This could end up causing more problems that she will have to deal with," Rika says, concern creasing her brow dangerously.

"I am fine," Jun injects, fixing us both with a look.  "The longer we delay, the more chances there will be that someone will discover what has occurred."

Her still-hoarse voice falls silent once more, and she rides ahead.  Lady Fujioka stares after her before whispering, "We are far enough away from Nakakanai now.  I will see if Jun wishes to stop."

Rika catches up to the other woman and says something to her.  Jun glances back towards me before replying quietly to whatever she had told her.

"We are going to stop for a bit, Ryuu.  Do you mind watching the horses?" Rika calls back to me.  The two of them have directed their mounts in my direction, and I am surprised to see a stunning smile stretching across Jun's face.