𝟐𝟓 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮 → 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐮𝐤𝐨𝐤𝐮

day sixteen

my beloved ryuunosuke,

i visited your grave this afternoon. i placed some white lilies on your tombstone. i vaguely remember those were your favorite.

i came alone, of course. dazai-san and kunikida-san were busy. or so they say.

i wouldn't think too much on dazai-san if i was being honest.

you'd probably think he'd just be a hindrance. even in the afterlife he must annoy you to an extent.

i want you to know that i tried. i tried so hard.

i want to move on like how you would want me too. but, it feels like.. i just can't.

back to when i had called an ambulance and the police, they told me that what happened to you was self harm.

there were lots of new cuts that were torn on your skin. deep, red cuts gashed through your old wounds that were half healed. after all this time, you never listened to me did you?

ryuu.. i thought you stopped. i thought you had stopped. for me.

i can't let that go.

why didn't you tell me anything? why didn't you leave me with something?

i'm sorry. i stained the paper with my tears.

it will dry off anyway.

i still love you, atsushi

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EDITED; 4/8/20