A Girl's Guide to Guys and God.

My Best and My Worst

Well ladies, I had a pretty unexpected realization recently. A year. It's been a year. A year since I realized I like Barry. It makes me smile a smile of and emotion I can't identify. I might be a little satisfied that I've had a REAL crush that I'm pretty stuck on. It might be because the more I think about it, the more I wonder: "What am I so afraid of?".

The answer to this question is pretty obvious. I can only think of what would happen if he found out. How embarrassed I would be. How awkward it would be to see him in Chorus class and select ensemble and practice and musical and fire company and the list goes on. This was just a little background on what's up. Here's the real message for the day...

Anymore in find myself not being able to do anything without thinking, "What would Barry think?". Honestly, I shouldn't and don't truly care but my mind goes there automatically. When I stop and think about it though I find this: Barry has seen me in sweats, a homecoming dress, a bathing suit, a tutu, a musical costume with WAY too much makeup, a mime costume, and the list goes on.
It's funny, I'm not the kind of girl to "dress to impress". I usually don't dress up for school --jeans are my go-to in the morning--, I don't wear makeup to school, and my hair is constantly falling out of whatever style I have it in (I have a problem with whispies). The plain truth is: if Barry doesn't like me and my casual style he's not worth it. [I know he isn't like that though]. But who knows? Maybe he prefers a girl who doesn't make herself up. A girl who is comfortable with he appearance without pounds of makeup. There's no way to know for sure. But for now I'm going to keep being myself. Barry approval would just be a happy bonus. *giggle* just kidding.