Hard Habit to Break #Wattys2017

HHB (31)

- Glaiza -

I thought seeing Rhian is fine, like I can forget what happen and the pain that she gave me...

Pero bakit ganon, parang wala lang ako sa kanya... She doesn't even get jealous kahit pa maglampungan kami ni Solenn sa harap nya... Wala ba talaga syang nararamdaman sakin?

At mas nasaktan ako nang sinabi nyang hindi na nya ako kayang mahalin, bakit? Ano ba ang wala ako na meron sa lalaking kinababaliwan nya? Bakit hindi nya ako magawang mahalin?

I thought kaya kong sumugal, gaya nang sinabi ni Nico pero pakiramdam ko, magmumukha lang akong tanga at araw araw sasampalin ng katotohanang hindi ako kayang mahalin ng taong pinakamamahal ko...

"Glaiza wait... Sandali lang!" Habol ni Rhian sa akin pero hindi ko ito nilingon.

"Glaiza, Im talking to you, please... I need to tell you something!"

Napatigil ako sa paglalakad at nilingon sya habang nakatiim bagang...

"Just 2 mins... Give me a little more time... Nakikiusap ako..."

"I'm so sorry Rhian but I can't anymore." Saka ako nagpatuloy na maglakad pero agad din nya akong napigilan.

"Pakinggan mo muna ako, kahit saglit lang"

"Why can't you understand Rhian?! I can't... Coz if I spend some more minutes with you, if I'll listen to you then..." Hindi ko naituloy ang sasabihin ko dahil parang biglang nawalan ng lakas ang lalamunan ko para maglabas ng boses

"Then what Glaiza?"

"Then maybe I lose myself in love again... And I will realize that you can't love me... Again..." Mahina kong sabi

"Let me go..." Dagdag ko pa at tuluyan na syang tinalikuran...

...

"Let's go Sol..." Yaya ko kay Solenn pagbalik ko ng cafe.

"So how'd it goes? Did you guys talk already? Ok na ba kayo?"

"Forget it Solenn, Halika ka na... Rush hour na maya maya, baka ma jam pa tayo sa traffic..." Hindi ko pinansin ang tanong nya...

"You know, Rhian is a very nice girl huh... Higit pa sya sa inaasahan ko... And see how we go along... Napakabait at masiyahin... No wonder that you like her a lot... You still love her so much right? I can see it in your eyes..." Saad nito habang nililigpit ang gamit mula sa bag nya dahil naabutan ko itong nagreretouch

"I said forget it!!! I don't wanna talk about her, ok!? So please shut up!"

Nakita ko ang labis na pagkagulat sa mukha ni Solenn and even myself don't understand why I am so pissed...

Nahihirapan akong ipaliwanag ang nararamdaman ko... Coz everytime I think of forgiving her, para akong nagsistep forward ng isang beses at agad bumabawi ng dalawang hakbang paatras... I don't understand what's going on with me.

Or is it really hard for me to accept the fact that Rhian can't love me like I do.

Walang namang imik na naglakad si  Solenn palabas... At hindi man lang ako hinintay...