Hard Habit to Break #Wattys2017

HHB (21)

- Rhian -

Kung ano man ang iniisip nyo sakin ngayon, bahala na.

Sa totoo lang, natatakot ako. Kasi dumating na ako sa ponto na pinag aalinlangan ko noon pa.

I'm doing this to protect both of us and our friendship. Matagal na panahon na ang lumipas sa pagkakaibigan namin at hindi ko hahayaang masira na lang ito ng ganon lang...

Oo, mahal ko si Glaiza but I can't lose her like how she and her past girls ended.

"Rhian, salamat at pumayag ka na makipag usap sakin"

Now I found myself in a coffe shop, few block away from my workplace... In front of Jason, my ex fiancé, the one that I thought the greatest love of my life...

Nagulat ako nang nakita ko sya, totally, hindi ko inasahan iyon.

"Anong kailangan mo sakin?"

Bigla nitong inabot ang kamay kong nakapatong sa mesa at hinawakan.

"We didn't get a chance to talk after what happened long time ago... You we're always my unfinished business Rhi,.. After you left, my life was never be the same... I never thought that I would make the stupidest and dumbest decision in my life... Of choosing my career before you... I was never been happy. Hindi ko na realize agad na ikaw pala ang pinaka priceless na trophy meron ako..."

He look at me eyes to eyes, gusto kong umiwas sa mga mata nya but I can't stop myself from listening to him.

"Nang nawala ka, believe me, hinanap kita. And if ever I found you earlier, I still do the same thing as what I am doing right now. Lumapit ako sa Mommy mo pero hindi nya sinabi sakin kung nasan ka, at naiintindihan ko dahil anak ka nya... Hindi ka nya ipagkakanulo sa gagong tulad ko. I keep asking your friends but no one told me kung nasan ka. I tried to reach you in social media but unfortunately, nabablock mo yata ako and you had put on some information privacy kaya I have no idea how to find you... Not until I got to meet Lovi Poe in Nairobi, she's recing there too... Naikwento nya sakin na nagkita kayo dito few months ago... Sa kanya ko nalaman na nasa New York ka at sa kanya ko din nakuha ang number mo"

Naalala ko iyon,. Na meet ko si Lovi somewhere in Manhattan. Probably 2 months ago... She's an old friend from college and I remember giving her my number...

Bakit ko nararamdaman ito? Bakit yung sakit na dinanas ko ng mahabang panahon ay biglang nabura ngayon kaharap ko na uli si Jason.

Kung dati ay kay daming panunumbat ang gusto kong sabihin sa pagmumukha nya, tila ngayon ay wala nang natira...

"And this,.. This is caused by my misery..." May ipinakita itong peklat sa ibang bahagi ng katawan nya... Maging sa ulo nya ay may iilang guhit doon na parang pinaghiluman ng sutures.

"I got this when I raced for formula one in Monaco... I was too distracted that time... I almost give up on the management dahil kahit practice ay lagi akong wala... I became a drunk, coz that's the only way I know to get you off my mind... And I drive that time na nakainom so I crashed... I was in coma for almost 6 months..."

Habang nag kukwento ang lalaki, kita ko ang pagpatak ng luha sa mga mata nya.

I know Jason very well. Hindi ito emotional... At kapag dumating ito sa point na umiiyak na sya, it only means na hindi na nya kayang ihold ang damdamin.

Bakit ako naaawa sa kanya.?

"All this time, ikaw pa din ang laman nito Rhian... At ikaw lang ang magiging laman nito kahit kelan... Gusto kong malaman,.. I know it's been a long time and maybe it's too late pero May nag mamay ari na ba sa puso mo?? Huli na ba ako?"