The Masses

Act XIV

M16.1: No, she is mine. You will have to wait for the next one.

M4.4: But you're not even fucking her right now.

M16.1: That's because I've been fucking her for quite some time. I'm getting tired.

M4.4: Well, what if she's not tired?

F11.2: I'm tired.

M4.4: No you're not.

F11.2: Fine, I'm not. In fact, I'm very horny. But I'm still not going to fuck you.

M4.4: Why not?

M16.1: Because I said no. She is mine, and there is nothing you can do about it.

M4.4: Why do you let him have ownership of you? If you're horny, we can fuck. You don't need his permission (eats an apple).

F11.2: Did the idea not occur to you that maybe I like being owned more than I like fucking?

M4.4: Why would such a ridiculous idea occur to me?

F11.2: It's obvious, isn't it? That's why I'm so horny. If no one owned me, I wouldn't be interested in fucking.

M4.4: How could that possibly make you horny? And how does the thought of fucking for the sake of fucking not make you horny?

The captain is inserted into the e-garden and quickly grabs a puppet (M1, by coincidence).

F11.2: How? I don't know. But it doesn't matter because that's the way it is.

Captain: Hello.

M4.4: Well, so much for that.

Captain: So much for what?

M4.4: I was told I would get a woman for myself if I just waited.

Captain: A woman?

M4.4: Yes. A woman.

Captain: What's a woman?

M4.4: Seriously?

Captain: (pauses) Yes.

M4.4: A woman. Not a man. Like her (points to F11.2) for myself?

Captain: Oh. A 'she'. I get it. So, what's wrong with having her?

F11.2: I'm taken.

M16.1: She's mine.

Captain: Alright, whatever. Anyway, I'm sure by now you are all probably curious about that object over there (points to the rock).

M4.4: No. Not really.

M16.1: It's a message from the gods, telling us to fuck only one person.

Captain: What? No it isn't.

M16.1: Of course it is. I knew a guy who was there when it arrived.

Captain: Well. As it happens, I'm the god who sent it. And it was a message, but that message was about how to please the gods.

M16.1: You're a god? Bullshit.

F11.2: Yeah, and that message was to please the gods by having sex with only one person.

Captain: What's sex?

M16.1: Hah. A god indeed...

F11.2: Sex is... fucking.

Captain: Oh. Well, I'm telling you that wasn't the message. Where did you get that idea, anyway?

M16.1: Fine. If you're a god, answer something for me. How do I know what a cloud is?