Courtship

Part 40

This was not meant to happen. It could not be happening. Was she having a nightmare? It was going really well between them. Was it? Obviously not. She was wrong. Must have misread the signals. Playing for time, trying to find the right moment to tell him about their circumstances, had cost her. But this was new territory to her. On so many levels. How she felt about him. When to tell him about the family situation. Why she juggled early nights to fit in with her work at the centre. She could not tell him the truth. Certainly now. Not when he was finishing with her. She wasn't sure how much he knew, or whether he was on a fishing expedition. But to tell him about the family and the centre, and then discover he had decided to end their relationship would hurt not just her. She had other people to consider.

Get in first, her head ordered. And for the first time in many weeks as far as Rafe and Marina were concerned, the dictates of her head won.

"Because it's run its course!" She interrupted quickly and her heart felt as if someone had ripped it to shreds.

Rafe blinked in consternation and reared back in total surprise. "What?" Run it's course? She had to be kidding. What brought that on? Was that secret she had that dire?

Marina smiled sadly, "I agree!" No point begging him to reconsider. "You're right. We've done pretty well, all things considered." She tried not to sound gutted. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way. I wanted to tell you. I just didn't have the nerve to come clean. I'm glad we had some time together. And it's been lovely. Hasn't it?"

"Yes. It is." He frowned. Which begged the question why she was ending it. Was that what his intuition had mistakenly confused with keeping secrets? Had she decided to end things between them but not had the nerve to tell him? "So this is it?" He asked. He couldn't believe it. Rafe wondered whether he'd just stepped off a cliff. She wanted to tell him they were over? He had sensed in the last few weeks that something was worrying her, but it had never crossed his mind that it had anything to do with finishing with him.

Marina was close to blubbing. She didn't want to beg, but something in her opted for one last chance, "I hope we can still be friends. I did not mean to deceive you."

"But you couldn't bring yourself to tell me before? Earlier?" He asked, his tone cool.

"I'm really sorry Rafe. I know it probably feels like I've pulled the wool over your eyes for so long, but I didn't know how to tell you."

"Really?" He snorted "You've never had difficulty speaking your mind before." He reminded. "If I recall it's one of your fundamental characteristics!"

But that was when the only person she would jeopardise was her. "I understand that you're hurt. I'm really sorry for not coming clean about it earlier but to be honest, well, it's not that simple."

"Pretty simple to me." He told her.

Marina sighed. "I'm really sorry. I've really enjoyed the time we've spent together." Enjoyed? It was beyond enjoyment. "We had some good times, didn't we?" Maybe if she could get him to remember that they had been good together, he'd forgive her for the fact she had not told him everything.

Enjoyed? That sounded like he was merely some form of entertainment the last few weeks. Rafe had made the drive to her house expecting to have a conversation about the secret she was keeping. It had just never occurred to him that the secret might have had more to do with the fact that she wanted out of the relationship. That had simply never crossed his mind. The last few weeks were amazing. Or so he thought. Everything about her made him happy. He thought it was mutual. This feeling of cell deep happiness. Yet, while he was looking at ensuring they had a solid base for their long-term future , a foundation based on truth and honesty, she was looking at how to break the news to him that she wanted out.

Marina could see from his expression that he was hurt. She had deceived him. Obviously he hated the fact they had pulled the wool over his eyes. She couldn't blame him for wanting out. Obviously at some point tonight he had learnt the truth about the Sojour D'Sa family, though how, she did not know. But equally obvious was the fact that he was not happy about the fact she had not spoken to him about it.

"Thanks Rafe. I know you probably aren't happy with me right now. But maybe we can still be friends." She suggested and hoped he'd take the olive branch she was hold out to him. "Friends?" She held out her hand.

Rafe glanced at her outstretched hand. "You want to be friends?" He asked in utter disbelief. "Friends? Seriously? You think you can let me believe you are what you seem, and then when I find out you aren't, that you've just been stringing me along, that I'd want to be friends? Seriously."

"I just thought..."

"Thought what? That I'd just forget all this? Forget the fact you couldn't bring yourself to tell me the truth earlier?"

"Thought that you'd remember we were good together. We had some good times. That you'd forgive me for not telling you the truth sooner."

He shook his head, "Well you thought wrong! You know, for some time now I've wondered what was going on, cause clearly something was going on. But I never expected you to play me like this. Never."

"I'm sorry." She leaned closer, brushed his cheek with her lips and then fled the car.

That contact of skin to skin reminded him about the chemistry that existed. And that momentary lapse cost him, for she had opened the door and practically run from the car before he'd had a chance to ask her why, given the chemistry between them, why she wanted out.