nat's rant book

excuse me, but fuck off.

things have gotten better since i last posted a chapter on the ol rant book. well. not better than what they used to be. not even close.

(i'm not really sorry but i'm kinda gonna whine like a high school girl, but this is a rant book so)

1. i hardly see my main source of happiness anymore ☹

2. i was recently cyber-attacked (like bullying but not as severe) by my boyfriends friends and my best friend, for never being around her as much (my best friend) because of my boyfriend. and i was called out and yelled at by my boyfriends friends because apparently i was taking him away from them, so they got mad at him as well and made him "choose" between me and them. (this night physically, emotionally, and mentally drained me. i hadn't cried that hard in a loooong time)

3. every time i go to my fathers house, i end up bawling. his expectations, overly high set standards, and yelling make me want to -simply put- die.

on the up side, here are some things that have been going my way.

1. i still get to see my main source of happiness even though i don't see him as often.

2. this kid, we'll call him D. stood up for me and my bf when we were being "attacked" he called them out told them to stop and that'd we'd be able to work things out. besides my bf, D is now my best friend.

3. i've started like really working out. it's the off season for my sport, and since i've been so stressed lately i've put all my motivation into physical restoration. i'm gonna lose weight i'm gonna get abs and nice legs and i'm so excited  ☻

ugh this helped me breathe so much. it's been a very rough night studying for finals and just being sad. i'm so done crying guys i hate feeling so weak.

but then again raw human emotions are good, so if you need to let it out please do. do not hold everything inside you. your sweet fragile body can't take it all. breathe. cry if you need to. scream into a pillow. eat ice cream. listen to your favorite music. drink water. and take care of yourself for me (and for yourself)

i really do care about you. get some rest if you haven't already today. you deserve it, you deserve to be happy.

alright gn i love ya