one more day

6

Michael: okay so what's your favorite show?

Me: Definitely American Horror Story, what about you?

Michael: The walking dead, it trumps AHS by a lot.

Me: you wish!

Michael and I have continued to talk for the past three days just getting to know each other. You would think that we would've ran out of things to talk about already but surprisingly, no. He was a great conversation maker, and the only person I have met so far that makes me almost completely forget how shitty my life really is.

Michael: Okay Olivia, hear me outtttt! Before you just flat-out reject me, again!, please come to my party tomorrow. I swear, it's gonna be great and you'd have an awesome time :))))

Fuck! Michael and this damn party. Of course there was a small part of me that had a desire to go but then again, I had plans for fucks sake! He doesn't understand how bad I just want this to be over. Want me to be over. 

But, hell, what was I supposed to say to him, 'no sorry! I plan to slit my wrists till my arms fall off'. Yeah, I don't think that would go down too well. 

Maybe I should go. He was the only person, after all, who hasn't been a complete jackass lately and hasn't made me want to kill myself. 

Me: I don't know, I would probably just be sat all alone, watching you and all your friends have fun. I'm not a party person and I wouldn't even know anyone.

I tried to find any excuse I could to get out of this.

Michael: I won't leave you alone :) I swear, and i'm sure my friends would love you. I swear that too. c'mon, just get out of the house. say yes!

I didn't want to ruin his day. How could I? He had been nothing but nice to me, even though we've only been talking over text for the most part but still. ughhhhh! I mentally groaned, just my luck that he would want to hang out on my chosen date.

Me: fine fine whatever. i will shave you bald if you leave me lol

Michael: woaH! okay then lol. I promise I won't leave you.

Michael: well hey here i'll send you the address, and then i'll see you tomorrow okay :)

Michael: 238 Drummoyne Rd. your name will definitely be on the list :) sleep well gorgeous

-

I stared at the pavement under my moving feet. I can't believe I was actually doing this. 

All morning, I stood, staring at my reflection in the mirror, a blade and a bottle of pills just beside my thin fingers. 

I should do it.

I need to do it.

I can't.

Michael.

I don't know. Something about him, talking to him just made me happy? I guess. Or maybe content with my life at the moment. I finally decided to go before pushing the blade and bottle to the side.

This must be the place. I was interrupted from my thoughts as I noticed the sign just above my head 'Drummoyne Rd'. There was a big, buff guy just outside of the building labeled '238'. I was hesitant at first, he was an intimidating man and what if Michael forgot to add me to the list? What if this wasn't even really the place? What if as soon as I stepped into the party a giant bucket of pigs blood spilled over me? A whole bunch of unrealistic possibilities and 'what ifs' ran through my mind. I was always so dramatic but when you've lived the life I had, dramatic was just an understatement.