one more day

7

Michael: Hey you didn't leave already did you? Where are you?

Michael: I hope you made it home safe last night, text me and let me know.

My phone buzzed a few times after that, something I wasn't used to because I never had anyone to talk to. I honestly don't even know why I have a phone, literally all I do, or, did, was talk to Emily, and occasionally get on my flop of a twitter account.

Nevertheless, I disregarded the message flood from Michael. I wasn't really up for talking to anyone at the moment.

It was a typical sleepless night, well not that typical. I still had time to go through with my original plans when i'd made it home around an hour till midnight but it didn't go as planned.

All I could think about was everything Emily said and it all led back to the start of a downhill spiral.
One cut, for when dad started drinking heavily.
One cut, for when mom turned to drugs instead of help for the two of us.
One cut, for the first night, the man, who i consider my father, ever touched me in a way a father should never touch a daughter.
One cut, for mistaking Emily for a true friend.
One cut, for being an 'attention seeker' as Emily put it.
One cut -

The ruckus i was making upstairs must've woken my dad up because in the middle of my sixth cut or so I could hear his heavy feet making their way up the stairs. I tried to quickly clean my wrists up with a few pieces of tissue but wasn't fast enough. He bursted into the room, first looking toward the bed where he must've assumed i would be, then the bathroom where i was standing, red stained tissue wrapped around my wrist.

"Jesus, Olivia!" he spat at me, "what in the fuck are you doing?" he ran to where i was, grabbing and squeezing my wrist where the fresh cuts were causing me to wince in pain. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" He flung my arm out of his grip and pushed me against the wall, walking out not saying another word.

I spent the rest of my night staring at the ceiling thinking about two things.

one, how can he ask me 'what's wrong with me' when he's the reason because of this. Does he not see that HE is the reason for my pain and suffering. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" what the fuck is wrong with you, dad? A daughter should never have to go through what I go through with their father. A father should never do those kinds of things with their daughter. What is wrong with you?

two, why didn't he continue whatever he came in the room for? He never caught me cutting before but he never backed away from what he wanted, no matter what. I don't even think I remember smelling any alcohol on his breath.. So why'd he come in my room anyway? He never bothered me in those kinds of ways when he was sober.

I didn't get much sleep last night, my thoughts kept me awake and i kept expecting my dad to waltz back in, drunk and even more pissed than normal because of what had happened earlier. He never came. I was relieved but still confused.

My phone buzzed again,

Michael: sorry for blowing you up, I just really want to make sure you're okay.

I locked my phone then picked it up again deciding to finally answer. It wasn't fair for me to keep him worrying.. but why was he so worried? Not like he cares about me.

Me: hey Michael, yea, sorry i left early. had to handle something at the house but i'm okay. didn't mean to keep you worried

He replied almost instantly,

Michael: ohhhh, okay good. was just making sure. wish i would've got to say bye though and i hope to see you again really soon

Hm. Not likely. I decided to give myself 3 days. The 24th was when i was going to do it, get it over with, off myself. And if Michael was worried already after last night, better to not let him get any closer to me in these next couple of days just to leave his life entirely on the 24th.

Michael: Do you have plans for Thanksgiving? I'm sure you do, with your family and all but if you're free, I wanted to invite you over to my house let me know!

Me: What day is Thanksgiving again?

Michael: This Thursday hahah, the 24th.

okay i haven't written in forever and i'm so sorry. i plan on writing and updating this story more. i'm going for twice a week? i hope y'all are still interested in this story. i'm trying to make up for not writing for so long and i want to try to update again by the end of the week. thanks for reading. please comment and vote.
also sorry this is a crappy chapter. it was kind of a filler and i was kinda lost because i couldn't remember where i was trying to go from the last chapter a few months ago. and sorry if there are any mistakes, i did this really quickly on my phone at 1 AM. x