A/N: This takes place between the lines of Chapter 20--after the phone call but before Mallory arrives back home.
Matt
Unshed tears have burned the back of my eyes for the past six hours. Hours' worth of gut-wrenching, heart-racing adrenaline has finally started to wear off, leaving my limbs heavy and my head fuzzy.
I sit in the break room of the studio, my head between my knees and my hands clasped over top, trying to settle the sick feeling in my stomach. It's just after nine at night. The police have finally left, and Mallory should be home sometime in the next hour or two. Though it's late, none of the cast has gone home yet.
It feels like everyone is holding their breath.
Those tears have been there ever since Mallory and I hung up. Now is no exception. I was not going to lie and say that I hadn't shed a few when her voice finally came through that phone, nor deny the lump that had come to my throat when, after so long, I heard the words 'love you' come tumbling past her lips. But since then, I've been holding them back so long my eyes itch and my head aches.
A morbid laugh bubbles up my throat-though it doesn't actually make it past my lips-at the thought that it had been a headache that had gotten us into this whole mess. If we hadn't broken up, she wouldn't have been in Wyoming today. We wouldn't have broken up if we'd never been together, and we'd never have been together if my self control hadn't been quietly eroded away that fateful night back at Christmas time.
And yet, I can't bring myself to regret a moment of our time together. What happened after? Oh, there's plenty of regrets there... but not those bright, beautiful four and a half months.
The couch bends a little and I know someone must have just taken the seat next to me, but I can't bring myself to acknowledge them. Voices of my friends and coworkers wash over me from not far away, but I can't make out what they're saying. They seem to instinctively understand my current need for space-except whoever is here now.
"We ordered pizza. Dunno if you heard," comes the voice next tome. Natalie. Not who I would have guessed, and yet entirely expected. She's always been a maternal figure in the cast.
"I'm not hungry." My voice is scratchy and scrapes my throat on the way out. Eating is one of the last things on my mind right now. For one, my mind is not the only thing unsettled from the day's events. For another, it feels like a pleasure that I certainly don't deserve in this moment.
"I thought you would say that. Brought you some anyways," Natalie says flatly.
After a moment, I finally remove my hands from the back of my head and peek sideways at her, glancing down at the paper plate in her hands, that's loaded with two pieces of hot, cheesy pizza.
A tiny smile comes to Natalie's face as she sees the look in my eyes. "Not hungry, huh?"
"Not really," I start to say, but my stomach chooses that moment to growl in betrayal, and her smile grows a little. "All right, give it here then." As the first bite fills my mouth, I take a moment to realize that the fact I'm starving is probably not the greatest thing for my mental health right now.
"Thought maybe," Natalie says. "When did you have lunch?"
I pause, sitting up a little straighter and continuing to chew. "I didn't," I admit. She gives me a motherly glare and I roll my eyes. "I might have had a few other things on my mind right then."
"I'll give you that one," Natalie says, before lapsing into silence until I've nearly finished my second piece of pizza. "How are you holding up?"
I lift one shoulder in a shrug. "I'm all right. As well as can be expected, I guess." I know Natalie will probably realize I'm trying to deflect the conversation, but I try anyway. "You?"
YOU ARE READING
Ridiculous: Mattory
Fanfiction'I hear Mallory's voice before I see her, and I feel a grin spread across my face as she emerges from the hallway. "Oh, hey Matt, you did make it," she says, throwing me a dazzling smile. I don't know how she does it, but one of those smiles never f...
