instagram • ashton irwin

twenty-four

Public bathrooms stink.

No matter where they are, in schools or on the side of football games or in the tucked away corner of a concert. They smell like shit mixed with mango febreeze, and trust me, it isn't the most welcoming smell.

After about five minutes of internet with Ashton staring at me intently I got to uncomfortable to function, and went to seek refuge in the public bathroom. I thanked the Lord that no one was inside, and, naturally, went to sit in the corner and hyperventilate. Once I had calmed down, I became painfully aware of the stench of the bathroom. I mean, it was much easier to focus on that then, well, everything else.

Honestly, I couldn't figure out what I was so worked up about. It's not like he liked me. It's not like he wanted to talk to me. Yes, his initial reaction was a suprise, but it's not a big deal.

It's not.

It's not.

Right?

The more I mumbled it to myself the less it sounded true. He said he was sorry, kind of. He winked at me. He seemed eager to talk. What was wrong with talking? The simple fact was that I was uncomfortable becuase I did like him. I'd been hung up on him for longer than any one of my previous boyfriends, and we weren't even dating. I mean, he had a girlfriend. A girlfriend! Clearly he'd moved on, and that's assuming he ever liked me in the first place.

Suddenly, I was crying. It was different from my normal, red-faced sobs that i was used to. I was silent for a while, just thinking to myself, and it took me a couple minutes to realize that tears had been slipping down my face the whole time. It didn't make sense. Why was I even sad about this? I just wanted to go see Connie. Hang out with her and Micheal and Luke and Calum. I wanted to talk about the concert and have an awesome night. I came here to have an awesome night.

And in a moment I decided that's what I was going to do. I used my twitchy hands to push me up off the ground and went to the mirror, washing my face. I applied some more foundation and filled in my eyebrows a little. My face didn't look red. I looked good. Great, really.

My attitude changed a little when I stepped out of the bathroom. It was my comfort area, despite it's shitty (lol) smell. Despite this, I stood up taller and made my way back to the room.

When I got there, Connie and Michael were gone. Luke and Calum never showed up, and if they did, they were gone now. Ashton was sitting on the couch, using his drumsticks to drum softly on the table. I opened the door carefully, but his head snapped up the second I stepped inside. His hair was still damp and his muscles bulged through his tight fitting shirt. I saw his tense jaw relax a little. His eyes were wide, and his pupils dilated immensly. I'd almost forgotten his soft eyes. I always remembered him as this big warm bear-man, but I'd never seen him look smaller than he did right now.

"Hey, Ashton," I said.
---
A/N um hi.

I feel bad about not updating for 8 months but at the same time, the break's been nice. I was just taking a break, but then my life started changing and I got a little caught up. I mean, I'm not really in the fandom anymore. By that I mean I haven't checked up on them since May.

I feel bad about that, yeah. But I haven't had a reason to. They haven't released music in ages, and I started listening to other music and then I just... stopped caring.

The whole 400 words i spentwith the bathroom stuff was kind of unnecessary but I wrote it months ago and I was too lazy to rewrite it now. I've started and restarted this chapter so much in the last 8 months but something changed today and ended up actually finishing it. I think I might publish something else today or tomorrow since tomorrow's labor day so idk.

also, i just went through ashton's instagram while prepping to write for this chapter and damn. that boy still looks good.

Some of what Thalia was thinking to herself during the whole thing in the bathroom is kinda similar to my own thoughts after a non-relationship of my own. lol.

So anyway, I'm so sorry about the 8 month wait. I hope it was worth it? More coming soon, so stick around.

-claire

Ps: if u want to chat or ask me about updates to come or more why i didnt update or anything else, dm me. i'm around.

PPS: y'all should check out the playlist becuase i completely redid it