I miss you.

Chapter Thirty-Two: To think positive.

A/N: Hey guys. I know I know, I suck I haven't updated in a REALLY long time. (Christmas) but hey! We got 6.1k hehe that rhymes. But this chapter is really gonna suck. Like plot twist WOOO. Well bye :) sorry in advance.

I kissed him

I kissed him again.

I cheated AGAIN.

I thought of Justin I thought of everyone and everything. "Chris, I'm. A freaking idiot" I yelled sliding everything off my desk.

"Kaylee, your not stop! Stop!" He yelled at me. He grappled my shoulders and shakes me back and fourth.

"Chris. I'm, a liar." I said tears forming in my eyes. "I'm a stupid, dumb liar. Chris!"

He furrowed his eyebrows at me. "No your not, come on I'm going to call you mom."

"No! Don't you see what I've done Chris? I'm a monster. I fucking tore you apart, you want to die over me! It's my fault Chris Mine!" I yelled.

"Kaylee, it doesn't matter and your not a-"

"Im lucky I'm in love with my best-friend. I'm lucky to h-have been where I have been." I sang crying harder falling to my knees. He looked at me surprised.

"Wait, you-"

"I never forgot Chris! I tried to escape my problems by saying I forgot okay? But they caught up with me. Right now they have. I'm so stupid I wish I just died in that god damn hospital! Because I'm the problem. I keep, fucking things up. And Im just so sorry. But I don't deserve anything that's the problem! I'm the issue! It was never Justin or cancer or any car crash. It was me, it I never told you to go to the store and buy me food you never would've f-forgotten. My fault. If I never would've-"

"Stop." He demanded.

"I-if I were never born Chris. You would all believing your lives with beautiful less difficult girls, Justin wouldn't have fucking died if it weren't for my dumb perverted self. I-I would've never gotten raped if I didn't lead that guy on, I would've never done any of this shit if me myself didn't exist. But I do. And that's a problem that I have to fix so if you don't mind, you should forget about me because I can't please anyone. I mess things up a lot. Go fall in love with Ashlyn. At least she won't hurt you. Or cheat on you."

He sat down on the floor next to me. "I don't care. I don't care what you did Kaylee, I don't care what you were but I love who you are. Right now, through all the tears on your little face you are still my best friend. I could never just leave you. Never."

"I wish I was dead. Because damn it. It's bad Chris. It's so bad, it's so bad."

"What's really wrong?"

"Icanttellyou." I jumbled sobbing into my hands.

How could this happen? How could I let this happen?

"Hey. Hey you. Look at me." he said tearing my hands from my face. I looked at him concern in his eyes.

"I-I really like Justin, Chris. I like him so much I can't even describe it." I started.

"I know, it's okay. I get it your over me and you don't feel the same. It's fine as long as I can be your-"

"But, I don't love him just yet." I finished.

"I know, he told me how he-"

"Chris, it's just a funny thing about how the sun shines in the morning and the moon comes out at night. Now, if it were night time I'd be scared out of my mind for saying any of this. Because in the dark, nothing beautiful can be admired. So, let me say this while the sun is just about to set, when the moon and the sun almost get to be together." I sighed.