My heart broke at the sight before me. Ethan was just looking up at me as if he was in a trance. He had stopped crying now and was just frozen.
I climbed out of the car grabbing our clothes. I quickly pulled my clothes onto my body then climbed into the back seat with Ethan again.
He was still just sat there, his breaths heavy. I helped him put on his jeans then pulled his shirt over his head. I interlocked his hand with mine as I pulled him into the passenger seat and put his seatbelt on.
It's like he was asleep, like he wasn't in control of himself. I quickly collected our left over food from the top of the car and put it inside before getting into the drivers seat.
I had both my hands on either sides of the steering wheel as my head rested on it. I didn't know what do to, what could I do?
Ethan was just sat there staring at the dashboard, completely broken. I thought about whether I should take him home or take him to my house, and in the end I decided on my house.
I started the car and started driving home. Ethan was still silent and at times I forgot he was in the car with me.
I reached my hand out to his and held it tightly as I drew circles on the back of his hand with my thumb.
Ethan just stared at our interlocked hands as a tear would fall from his eyes every now and then.
After what felt like hours of driving but only actually took about 20 minutes, we finally arrived at my house.
I took the keys out of the ignition and just sat there. Ethan was still frozen in his position, his hand still clasped to mine.
I removed my hand from his, making his head shoot to my direction as if he wanted me to put it back.
I quickly got out of the car and ran around to his side, opening the door for him. He didn't move, he stayed staring at the dashboard.
I placed my hands on either sides of his face, moving it to look at me.
"Come on, Ethan." I said softly as I interlocked his hands with mine pulling him out of the car.
As soon as he was stood up he pulled me into his embrace as he started to cry again. I lost my balance as his knees started to give out, causing us to fall against the car.
He started sobbing as he became weaker and weaker, until he finally could no longer stand. He fell to the floor and pulled me with him, not daring to let go of me.
I pushed the hair off his forehead as I wiped away his tears but they just they kept falling.
"Shhhh. Ethan, calm down." I whispered as he rocked in my arms.
He was shaking uncontrollably and his whole body felt cold. I knew I had to get him inside.
"Come on, Ethan. Work with me now, yeah?" I said softly as I tried my best to lift him up from the ground. After a couple of failed attempts, I crouched down to his level and made him look me in the eyes.
"Can you please just come lay with me?" I asked as I pushed his hair off his forehead again. He nodded his head and immediately stood up leading me into the house.
We got to my room and Ethan pulled me onto the bed with him. I literally couldn't move, Ethan was holding me so tightly and wouldn't let me go.
I ran my fingers through his hair as he laid his head on my stomach.
"Get some sleep, yeah?" I said quietly as I tried my best to calm him.
"They said he had a chance." He cried out against my body.
"They said he would make it." He sobbed.
"Make it through what?" I asked softly, not sure if he would tell me or break even more.
"H-He had cancer." He choked out, his eyes squeezing shut at the thought.
A tear slipped from my eye. I know what pain he is feeling right now, I know what it's like to lose a parent. I was all alone when it happened, I had nobody to comfort me, I had nobody to hold me and tell me that it was going to be okay.
But here Ethan is, sobbing his heart out as he clings to my body, holding me so tightly so that I can't leave.
"Shhhhhh. Ethan, I'm not going anywhere okay? You don't need to hold me so tightly." I said softly as he started to hurt me because of how tightly he was squeezing me.
"I'm. sorry." He choked out in between cries.
"Shhhhh. You have nothing to be sorry about, Ethan." I said as I sat up slightly so I could look at him.
He moved his head into my lap as his arms clung around my the top of my thigh. He was still sobbing.
I just wanted it to stop, I wanted to somehow make his pain go away, but how? There is nothing that I could have done to stop him from feeling this way, and it was killing me knowing that.
...
After what felt like hours of hearing him crying out in pain, Ethan fell silent. He had cried himself to sleep. I slowly peeled myself away from him and walked into the bathroom, staring at my reflection in the mirror.
I turned the cold tap on and splashed my face with water before walking back into the room where Ethan was sleeping. I reached into his back pocket, pulling out his phone.
He had hundreds of text messages from his mom and Grayson asking if he's okay and asking where he was. I quickly sent a text to both his mom and Grayson.
Ethan- It's Blaire, Ethan's friend, he's with me. He's not doing too good, but I'm just letting you know he's safe.
I sent the text and had a reply from Grayson in seconds, even though it was like 4am.
Grayson- What do you mean he's not doing too good? We just lost our fucking father you bitch!
Grayson was obviously very angry and emotional right now. He's reacting the same way I did; push away all my problems, take my anger out on other people.
Ethan- Grayson, I know what you are both going through right now, please just be safe yeah? Don't do anything stupid, for Ethan, he needs you right now and you need him.
I didn't get a reply after that, I just hope that he will take my advice. I put Ethan's phone on charge then walked back into my bathroom. I was looking through my cupboards when I heard a loud scream.
"No! Dad please don't leave! No Grayson! Don't leave me! Mom! Blaire! Please don't leave me Blaire!" Ethan was yelling and rolling around, he was having a nightmare.
"Ethan! Ethan wake up!" I yelled as I jumped onto the bed next to him and shook him, desperately trying to wake him from his horrid dream.
Ethan's eyes shot open, they were red and puffy and his tears were pouring again.
"Blaire." He choked out as he pulled me towards him.
"Shhhhh. It's okay, Ethan. It was just a dream. I'm here. It was just a dream." I said softly as I calmed him, making him fall back to sleep again.
He was a mess, he was completely broken.
